


Shadows Of Light

by lindsey_grissom



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Graphic Sex, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-07-15
Updated: 2006-01-10
Packaged: 2017-10-10 13:24:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 44,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/100262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lindsey_grissom/pseuds/lindsey_grissom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Sometimes that which we look for is in the strangest of places, and those that we know are not how they seem.</i> With the war between the Light and Dark drawing near, anything is possible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Set after OotP but ignoring a certain character's death. Written long before HBP and DH.

“And why is it, exactly, that I should help that mangy mutt? It’s far better for everyone if he just stays out of the way.” The Potions Master paced in front of the Headmaster’s desk, his voice like smooth ice and his body ridged.

“Come now Severus, you know that’s not true. We need as many as we can on our side now; we need him to be able to go on missions without the added fear of our own side capturing him.” At the look of amusement that crossed the younger man’s face he hastily continued. “I know there is no love loss between the two of you, but you must understand why it is important I ask this of you.”

He watched Snape calmly, knowing already what his decision would be, whether he wanted to help the man or not, he understood that the Order came before any personal feelings.

He knew the moment the decision was made. The black clad figure’s shoulders drooped almost imperceptivity before he drew himself up to his full size and turned towards Dumbledore once more, his eyes glinting dangerously.

“I will do as you wish, but understand that I only help at your request and to aid the Order, don’t get it into your head that there is any chance of reconciliation between the two of us, and I ask that no one learn of my involvement from you.”

“But Severus…” But his protest was interrupted by Snape; now standing in the doorway.

“No Albus. No one will know.” And he was gone, his black robes billowing out behind him as he walked silently from the office, wondering why he didn’t feel angry at the twinkling old man, but relieved that finally he could help without asking to himself.

SSSBSSSB

The loud chatter of breakfast was broken suddenly as the doors to the Great Hall flew open, hitting the walls with an echoing bang that rivalled Snape’s entrance to classes.

All eyes flew to the doors, to fall on the thin man that stood just inside them. Harry was the first to recognise him, standing quickly and running across to his Godfather, Hermione and Ron close behind him.

Before they could reach him, several of the teachers, also recognising the criminal, stood and had their wands pointed directly towards him. The look of absolute joy fell from his face as he realised the danger he was now in. Expecting the Headmaster to say something, he was beyond surprised when the voice he heard wasn’t Albus’s but that of Severus Snape.

“Oh do sit down all of you.” He spoke impatiently. “Though I must agree that Black is indeed dangerous, it is more from the inability to use his head than any link to the Dark Lord. Now had any of you managed to involve yourself in more than inane conversation this morning, you might have seen the front page of today’s Prophet which clearly details the full pardon and release of Mr Black, and featuring, what I must say is such a charming picture of you Black, you really do photograph well.”

The fierce tone was so thick in his words that even the Headmaster looked shocked for a moment, until a rumble of conversation began to sweep across the hall. He turned to face Severus, his eyes glistening with gratitude, which was accepted with a small nod and shrug that was not missed by Sirius. But he had little time to think of the implications of what he had seen, before he found himself with an armful of a very excited Harry.

As teachers and students moved closer, offering their congratulations and asking him question after question, he held tight to Harry and followed with his eyes the man in black slip from the hall.

SSSBSSSB

After an eternity, classes began and the students and teachers left, leaving only Harry and Sirius behind. He hugged Harry again, his eyes twinkling far more than Dumbledore’s ever did, and a grin that seemed permanently attached to his once solemn face. And then he released him pushing him gently towards the doors.

“Go to your lessons Harry. I’ll be around here when you’re done.”

Harry nodded and then walked off, his steps lighter than they had been for a while.

Sirius just gazed around himself in wonder for a while, still unable to believe that he was finally free. After 12 years in Azkaban and a further 2 years spent hiding away he didn’t have to hide anymore. It was too much for him to comprehend, and he didn’t even know who to thank.

He looked down at the parchment he held; his official release letter from the ministry. It didn’t say who had appealed against his verdict. Only that new evidence had come to light. Even Arthur Weasley hadn’t been able to find out who had freed him after hours of floo calls to what seemed like every member of the ministry the night before. His last resort was to beg to the old man upstairs.

He was sure that Dumbledore knew who had helped him, he had even thought it was the old wizard himself who had gone to the Ministry, but Remus had reminded him of the distrust most of the Ministry had for the headmaster and the unlikelihood that they would have listened to him. Actually, he thought as he made his way to the Headmaster’s office, the only person they were less likely to listen to would be Snape.

He chuckled to himself as he waited at the stone gargoyle for admittance.

SSSBSSSB

“Come on Albus! I know you had something to do with it! You know who helped me don’t you? Just tell me. I owe them my freedom Albus, the least I can do is to find them and offer my thanks.” His eyes were pleading as he looked across at the Headmaster; pacing from one end of the office to another, but the Headmaster said nothing, his eyes twinkling even brighter when a silky baritone filled the room.

“Stop your foolish grievances Black, I would think he doesn’t need your gratitude, shown quite plainly by his wish to remain **anonymous**, what he _needs_ is a padded cell at St Mungos.”

While he spoke he had moved himself from the doorway and now stood in front of Albus’s desk, facing Sirius but as far away from him as the length of the desk would allow.

For a moment Sirius thought on Snape’s words, what he said held truth; perhaps the person who had helped him really did wish to remain nameless so as not to draw attention. No not person; man. Snape had said He, that meant that the Professor knew at least a little more about his saviour than Sirius.

Just about to ask Snape instead of the Headmaster, he stopped himself when he realised that Snape had insulted him, however indirectly. The familiar anger rose within him, and he couldn’t help wondering what it was about this man that caused him to act so like his animagus form as he growled at the smirking Snape.

“I don’t care what you think Snape, now either shut that foul mouth of yours, or rid us of your unwanted presence you greasy git.”

He stared in mute horror as Snape bristled with barely controlled anger, his dark eyes were narrowed so tightly they were almost closed, but somehow the rage could be seen plainly in their black depths, and they burned into him, making him wish the floor of the office would swallow him up.

What was he thinking, taunting a wizard like that, especially this wizard? He was under no illusion that Snape was not incredibly powerful; it was quite possibly his slight jealousy of that power that had made the younger Sirius taunt the small boy so mercilessly in their school days.

But they weren’t in school now, and Snape wasn’t that tiny, frail child anymore. He was a grown wizard, one who had forgotten more dark curses than Voldemort knew, and even though Snape was most definitely on the side of the light, Sirius thought that at this moment he would be more likely to live if he were facing Voldemort right now.

Bracing himself for the explosion that was inevitable, he was surprised when he saw the pale hand stop in its movements to the wand in Snape’s pocket. Instead, he seemed to visibly push his anger away, and when Black felt brave enough, drawing on every ounce of his Gryffindor traits, he raised his eyes to look into Snape’s. What he found there scared him more than the man’s wand point would.

Though his face had returned to its usual impassiveness and only a sneer showed on his lips, his eyes hadn’t. They were still full of the rage he had seen, but there was something else, something he hadn’t seen since their school days.

Pain.

Not physical, but the emotional pain he had once loved to produce on the normally expressionless face.

He had wondered once, while he sat hidden at Grimmauld Place, if his need to cause that pain had sprung from his need to see that face showing any expression, and pain had been the easiest to achieve, so he had soon stopped even considering trying to cause any other emotion. But seeing it now, he was at a loss.

No matter what he had said in the past few years, nothing had ever provoked any other reaction than retaliating anger, but that one sentence had caused him pain that only their meanest pranks had achieved. Suddenly feeling the familiar guilt that seemed to be following him around like a shadow these days, he opened his mouth to apologise before he realised what he was doing. But he never had the chance.

Snape’s eyes became shuttered again, the pain gone completely, and the anger dulling slightly, as he leaned in towards him before turning on his heel and heading to the door in a black silence.

“You’re lucky Albus feels your worth so strongly, it is he you should thank for several things, your lack of pain at present included.” The loss of the hot breath against his ear caused him to shiver slightly, and he watched with conflicting emotions as the Potions Master left the office, saying three words in resignation as he left, never turning back. “Just tell him.” And he was gone.

For a moment neither of them moved. Both lost in thought, until Black’s curiosity won over and he turned to the old wizard. His gaze was still fixed on the door through which Snape had retreated, his eyes twinkling even more than usual and the pride was very evident in them. An almost father-like pride thought Black and he wondered if that was an accurate description of their relationship. Before he could carry that line of thought on further Snape’s last words registered in his preoccupied mind and he broke the silence that had fallen.

“Tell me what Albus?” He questioned, already sure of what Snape had meant, but not expecting the complete answer the old wizard gave.

“That you may have just blown your chance at giving thanks.” Had his brain not been busy ploughing through the possibilities the answer gave, he would have rolled his eyes at the usual riddle. Could the man never answer a simple question, simply?

Dumbledore turned to him then, and the alarming twinkle gave him the information that he had been looking for since the news had reached him.

“No, he wouldn’t...they wouldn’t...he can’t...” he stuttered, until finally he spoke softly, regret and disbelief making his voice thick. “He hates me.”


	2. Chapter 2

It was several hours later that he came out of the office and walked straight into his Godson, sending them both to the floor, much to the amusement of Hermione and Ron, even Harry was laughing from his position beneath Sirius’ chest. Sirius lay there a moment longer pulling his thoughts together.

“Er Sirius, could you let me up, you’re squashing me?” Harry’s voice, full of laughter, snapped him from his daze and he grinned mischievously before raising his hands and tickling him. When he stopped, they were both panting and grinning madly and he helped Harry to his feet both turning to face an equally grinning Ron and an almost disapproving Hermione, but her eyes were grinning.

They were almost at Sirius’s guest rooms when Harry finally spoke, his words sending Sirius back to the long conversation with Dumbledore after Severus had left. Severus? When had he started thinking of him as Severus?  
“So did Dumbledore tell you who got you pardoned?” He paused only a minute before answering.  
“Yes.” They were at the portrait now, and Hermione told him the temporary password.

When they were all comfortably seated in the chairs the children had conjured, Harry asked the expected question.  
“So who was it then? I mean if none of the Order knew and they managed to convince the whole ministry that their _favourite_ criminal was innocent, they must have tonnes of power. So, who was it? Do we know them? Are they famous?” He paused for a moment, utter disgust and worry crossing his features. “It was Malfoy wasn’t it, ‘cause he’d do it just so that you were in his debt and that would mean you were in Voldemort’s debt too. Oh stop wincing Ron. Really.”

And Sirius laughed.

The thought of Lucius Malfoy still having enough sway with the Ministry to get him released was funny enough, but the way Harry had spoken, he’d sounded so like Hermione it was too much. He stopped at the confused faces in front of him.

“Seriously, do you really think Malfoy has that power anymore? No it wasn’t him, but I’m sure that this particular wizard would rather enjoy it if he thought I was in his debt.” But then Snape had wanted to stay anonymous, so he obviously didn’t think Black owed him. Even after Albus had explained everything, as he knew it, it still didn’t make sense to him. Why would Snape do it, but never use it as a hold over him. It was what he expected. It seemed to him, that there was a lot more to the Potions Master that he had yet to understand.

Hermione surprised him then, although on reflection he supposed if anyone were to guess it would be her. She really was smart, just like _him_ and again he found his mind drifting back to the spying Death Eater.

“It was Professor Snape wasn’t it.” It wasn’t really a question, and the boys’ laughter stopped instantly when they realised that he wasn’t laughing too.

“Yes.” Hermione stared at him, a triumphant smirk on her face at having guessed correctly, Ron just stared in distant horror as his image of the Greasy Git suffered an irreversible blow. But Harry stuttered in very much the same way as he had upon finding out, and it caused the corners of Sirius’s lips to curl into a smile again.  
“But he hates you.” Was Harry’s first discernable sentence.

“Yes that’s what I said. But Professor Dumbledore asked him to do it and he did.”

He wasn’t going to say anymore until he’d spoken to the Slytherin in person, but Ron was giving him an incredulous glare and he could almost see Harry’s mind concocting all sorts of explanations that all contained Snape in the role of villain, and saving Sirius for his own evil purposes, but after doing the same himself and expressing his concerns to the Headmaster, he was now more sure than he had ever been about anything, that Snape wasn’t like that and he needed to clear that up once and for all.

“He didn’t do it for his own selfish reasons, in fact from what the headmaster said, it was one of the most selfless things he has ever done. And after hearing the story, I’d have to agree with him. But I don’t think I’ll tell you three. You’d never believe me.” His eyes twinkled, not unlike the Headmasters, and he laughed inwardly at the exasperated expressions on the three faces before him.

“Please tell us.” “That’s not fair.” And “I wanna know what could persuade the Great Bat to help anyone.” Flew at him all at once, and with a false sigh of resignation he made himself even more comfortable in the chair and began telling them what Albus had told him, right from the beginning, none of them hearing the portrait open or noticing the black form that leaned cautiously in the corner.

“I guess I should start from the beginning otherwise it won’t make much sense.

"Theodire Snape was Snape’s Great Grandfather; he was also the Minister for Magic during the war with Grindlewald. At that time, the ministry was fair, it wasn’t completely free of bias, but they did show their support for both the opposition of him and their support for Dumbledore. Unfortunately, his sons were not. Well one of them, Zacarus Snape, Snape’s Great Uncle, decided that he had stood in his father’s shadow too long and when the final war came, he was there, lying right beside Grindlewald when he fell.

"It was the other son that killed Zacarus, in self-defence because after the dark wizard had fallen, he went mad and started firing curses at his father and brother, even at Dumbledore. In the end, the family fell apart. Theodire Snape’s wife broke away from her husband and went off with, if you can believe it, a Black, though not anyone closely related to me, a very very distant Great Cousin I believe.

"Anyway, with his wife gone, and his son slowly going mad from the guilt of killing his brother, Theodire resigned his position and moved away with his remaining son and his family, that would be Snape’s father and Grandmother. They weren’t heard of for quite some time, until Venos, that’s the brother, died. Theodire moved back to England straight away, bringing with him Snape’s father, but Venos’s widow stayed in Italy where they had been living. Being around Dumbledore’s age and having seen much the same as he had, he knew that his only chance to ensure that his family would be comfortable would be to infiltrate his way into the aristocratic pure-blooded families.  
I don’t know, but I think that the years watching his remaining son go mad and constantly being reminded of the betrayal of his other son, caused the former Minister to go mad himself. He definitely went evil. He had contacts everywhere in the Ministry. Some were from his days as Minister, but most were contacts that even the Malfoys won’t go near. He made his money, but it cost him a lot as well. By the time of his death, he and the rest of his family were unbelievably wealthy, but were so woven into the Dark Arts that many were scared of them and the rest somehow owed him life debts.

"He lived until just after Snape’s birth and even after he was gone, the fear and power surrounding his family never left. Neither did the money. When the first war against Voldemort happened, the Snapes were right up there with him, apparently they financed quite a lot of his effort, much more than the Malfoys, though it didn’t make so much as a dent in their savings. I don’t know what happened to Snape, Albus said that was Snape’s own story to tell, but I do know that he disowned his family at some point, he left the money and power behind, but both his parents died before the end of the first war, and so he inherited it all. And it was that power over the Ministry that meant that he had the sway to get me out. But Dumbledore said that he still hates what his family stood for, which is why he doesn’t live in any of the Snape estates across the country.”

In fact, Albus had said that Snape hadn’t ever used his power over the Ministry for anything, not even to avoid Azkaban when he was caught, not wanting to have to acknowledge his background in any way, but he had used it for him. The one person that had made his life a misery for years, the person who had suspected his every move, and publicly questioned his loyalties.

He just wasn’t sure that even a request from Albus would have made him do for Snape what Snape had done for him.  
They sat quietly for a few minutes, Sirius wondering at the guilt he felt for the past, and the intense need to find something that would be sufficient as a thank you; somehow he doubted that a few flowers and a card were going to do it, Harry, Ron and Hermione stared at him in silent amazement, fading disbelief and new found respect for their professor respectively.

It was Ron who spoke first, trying to get his mind around this new concept he was getting of Snape. Not truly understanding why the hated Professor would do anything to help Sirius, especially to use the contacts of the family he so obviously despised. And asking the first of many questions that came to him.

“So Snape is as rich as the Malfoys?”

They all jumped about two foot in the air when the black figure in the corner moved from the dark, to stand in the shadows and answered the question himself.

“Actually, Lucius lives on the Snape estate in Suffolk.” Seeing their shocked and confused faces, he did something he would never have done had he not heard all that was said before. Had Black been defending him instead of putting him right there with the rest of his dark family?

“Lucius built and paid for the mansion but the grounds belonged to my father.” No one failed to notice that he never said they belonged to him, even though as the last Snape they did. It was becoming clear just how much he wanted to be kept separate from his family.

Harry was the first to move. He stood to face his Professor, an indefinable expression on his face. “Is it true sir, what Sirius said? Did you go to the ministry and prove his innocence?” His voice was firm; he knew how to face the sneering man before him.

“Yes, I went to the ministry. It was little trouble really, although those idiots did make me waste a day there. I did no more than was asked of me.” He seemed to be down-playing his part, Sirius noted, he really didn’t want any recognition.

Harry held his hand out then, and after Snape had placed his own hand in it, with the caution of a spy looking for any mistrust, Harry shook it vigorously, his face breaking into a smile as he spoke.

“Thank You, Sir. Thanks for giving me a family.” If Snape was taken aback by those words, he didn’t immediately show it, but he appeared to be swallowing quite rapidly and he pulled his hand away from Harry’s quite quickly.

“Yes well had I known it would benefit the Golden Boy so, I would have left well enough alone.” It sounded lame even to his own ears, and he grimaced inwardly when Harry’s grin only got larger. This whole day was beginning to take its toll on him and it was unnerving him how much he was suddenly glad Sirius was able to care for Harry. No not Harry. Potter, his name was Potter. And he was only glad of _Black_’s freedom because it meant one less thing he had to do, and he could definitely do without having to keep Potter from harm everyday, that was enough work in its own right.

Closing down his mind from any thoughts, he put on his customary mask of impassiveness and decided that the Troublesome Trio needed scaring.

“In any case, I do believe it is far past curfew and unless my eyes deceive me, this is not the Gryffindor common room. Now I am not completely heartless,” he chose to ignore the choking sound coming from the youngest Weasley son, “so I’ll only take 5 points each but if you’re not in there within the next 10 minutes, you may find yourself with a house having negative points for the first time in the history of the school.” His voice was its usual ice, but it didn’t cause the reaction it usually did. Though they did begin rising and saying their farewells, all three students were grinning, and as they left even Weasley said goodbye to him, albeit rather reluctantly, but it was so different to their usual exits that he had to resist the urge to pinch himself in case it was an obscure dream.

Suddenly realising he was alone with Black he turned his mind back to the reason he was there in the first place. Schooling his features, he reached stiffly into one of his pockets and pulled out a long, thin, mahogany wand. He took a breath and then turned to face the seated man, holding the wand out in front of him.

To his credit, Black managed not to jump in surprise at the wand pointed towards him, though the emotion did register on his face so much so that Snape felt compelled to explain, even if he did it in exasperation.

“For Merlin’s sake Black, I’m not going to hex you with your own wand.”

Blue-grey eyes rose up to meet his then, and inwardly he flinched at the cautious way the eyes lowered to the wand in his hand, the words spoken in a near whisper.

“My wand?”

There was a time when the Sirius Black he knew would have snatched his wand away, cursing and complaining that by holding it Snape had covered it in grease, and the next thing he would know he would be stuck in a violent duel. But this Sirius Black just looked at the wand in wonder, his hands caressing it in silence.

He made to leave then, not willing to admit to the unfamiliar feeling of sadness that had swept over him. What had they done to the arrogant, obnoxious boy Black had been?

Strangely he found himself wishing to be hexed just to know that that boy was still in there somewhere.

Shaking his head in disbelief at his own thoughts he was almost at the door when the voice reached him. It was no longer a whisper, but stronger, the voice he remembered from before the Potters fell, and then from the Order meetings in the past years and he found himself turning back.

“Why?” It was only one word, but after the happenings of this week alone it had so many possible answers and meanings, some he wasn’t sure he could give.

He inclined his head and Black seemed to take this as his cue to elaborate.  
“Why are you giving me my wand back?”

Oh, that one he could answer. That was a safe topic.

“The Ministry sent it. Turns out they never took the time to snap it, but kept it as some kind of trophy after your capture.” His voice had started off calm and collected, but by the end the anger he felt at the Ministry for their behaviour towards Black became clear.

It was funny, when he thought about it. Ever since Black’s innocence had been shown to him, he had felt an unusual anger towards the Ministry, and after even Albus Dumbledore’s word hadn’t been able to remove their prejudices towards Black, he knew that one day he would have to do something to make sure that the innocent man wasn’t sent back to Azkaban again.

He had planned to put it in his Will, knowing that even in death he would have some sway over the idiots in the Ministry, but Dumbledore’s request had brought the event some what closer.

He couldn’t deny the small pleasure he’d felt at being able to force them to change their minds, being able to make a difference where others couldn’t, as much as he hated that it had meant falling into the patterns of his family, he finally knew what Lucius had been saying all along.

Although as with everything Malfoy, Lucius’s motives had never been about righting wrongs, no, far more about making them.

Black’s voice once again broke through his thoughts.

“No, why are _you_ giving it to me?” He didn’t need to mention the anger; the surprise at it was still in his eyes.

“Oh, the Ministry sent it to me through the contacts I used. Seems that now I’ve acknowledged them, they won’t leave me alone, but I’m sure that after I _pleasantly_ told them I didn’t wish to correspond with them further, they will leave me be for a while.” He smirked.

“I took your wand to Albus as soon as it was delivered, but he insisted he was too busy to come all the way over here and that if I didn’t mind too much could I do it. And since he had made sure that the House Elves won’t touch it, and my Slytherins are plotting ways to kill, what was it they called you, oh yes, ‘that traitorous bastard’, I thought it safer I deliver it in person.”

“Do you get the feeling he wanted us to talk?” His eyes were alive again, and he waved his hand at one of the chairs, inviting him to sit.

“Hmm, well that this is one way for him to kill me off I suppose. Give a wand to the enemy and then it becomes my fault for handing the weapon over in the first place. He is indeed a cunning fool; perhaps Slytherin was his house after all.”

He had taken a seat rather stiffly and sat as he always did. His back straight, legs crossed gracefully, and his hands clasped on his stomach.

His face was impassive as ever, and his eyes showed nothing but reflective black, but his voice was full of amusement and sarcasm and both realised that this was quite possibly the first conversation they had ever had that didn’t include hexes or threats on one or both of their lives.

Black was smiling when he spoke next, with something that, had it been anyone but Black, he would have called a definite Slytherin trait.

“Was that a joke Snape? I didn’t know you had it in you? Did it hurt?” He was cut off by the cold glare directed at him, and tried to restrain the laugh that threatened to bubble over.

He needed to remind himself that although his impression of Snape had shifted dramatically over the past few hours, nothing had happened to change Snape’s view of him, and he was likely to react as he usually did. But he didn’t. He just glared at Black from his position across from him.

“Are you trying to get yourself cursed Black, because if that is indeed your aim tonight I can assure you that you are very close to achieving it.” And Black believed him. The man was notoriously short tempered, though not hot-headed like himself. He raised his hands in a symbol of surrender.

“Okay, you caught me. I decided that I should spend my first few days of freedom stuck in the infirmary.” The first comfortable silence they had ever had fell over them then, as both seemed lost in thought.

The moment was broken by Black and his question caused Snape to tense even more.

“Why’d you do it? Albus told me how much you hated the thought of using your heritage for anything. So why’d you use it for me?”

His answer was quick, too quick, and he knew it wouldn’t be accepted as the whole truth.

“Albus asked me too.”

“Snape, as much power of persuasion as Albus has over all of us, I know that you wouldn’t do anything you didn’t want to do even if he did ask.” He seemed serious in his need to know the truth, but Snape was reluctant to admit to anything, especially something he wasn’t sure of himself.

How could he tell him that he had wanted to help him? That he had planned to before Albus asked him. He still wasn’t sure of his reasons behind that, besides the anger at the injustice, and his honest hatred of the Ministry itself. Instead he focused more on what Black had said, not what he had asked.

“Oh yes, because I so want to grovel at the Dark Lord’s feet again. It was all I could do not to beg Albus to allow me.” Sarcasm dripped viciously from the words, but it wasn’t directed at him personally, there was none of the usual malice in his voice when he spoke to him, and Black wondered if maybe something had changed.

“Well ok, besides that. But really. Why did you do it?” He asked again, not willing to let it go. Like a dog with a bone, his mind supplied.

Still unsure how to answer and having no way out this time Snape would have been grateful for anything to interrupt them.

Almost anything that is, for he was definitely not grateful for the searing pain that shot up his left arm.

Glancing up at Black he realised that he must have hissed out loud, he expected to see humour on his face, enjoyment at seeing him in pain, but he wasn’t expecting to see concern.

For a moment the shock numbed the pain and he just sat staring dumbly at Black, but another blast reminded him of his duty, and he rose quickly, using all his willpower not to clutch his arm. Sirius stood as well and followed him to the door.

Just as he was stepping out he grasped the black-coated arm. And he gulped as the wizard’s gaze swung round to rest on him.

“You better be careful. You’ve still got some questions to answer.”

“Oh yes, that’ll get me through Black. ‘Please Master, don’t kill me Master, Sirius Black wants to question me Master.’ I can hear his laughter from here. So if you would kindly take your dirty paw off my arm I have to go.” He knew he was taking his pain out on Black, but he really did have to go. It was quite a walk to his rooms, and then out into the forbidden forest, and the Dark Lord didn’t like to be kept waiting.

“Hey, say what you have to, but my paws are perfectly clean thank you very much.” And he let go of his arm, stood and watched until the billowing robes disappeared from view.

Then he stepped back into his rooms, picked up his wand and a book, and headed for the Headmaster’s office, where he would wait for his return. Not out of concern, he told himself, but out of duty.

An eye for an eye and all that. The man had helped him after all.

And if he kept telling himself that he might just start to believe it.

* * *

 

The sun had already begun to rise by the time he returned. And he sighed realising it would be yet another night without sleep.

He hadn’t fared to badly this time.

While sometimes he was able to avoid all punishment, some times it was simply unavoidable and he would return with injuries ranging from the after effects of the Cruciatus, to being near death and having to be carried to the castle by Hagrid. Thankfully tonight he was closer to the former than the latter.

He went straight to the Headmaster’s office. He could fix himself up from there, no one but the headmaster would see him and he preferred to see the extent of injuries himself, not trusting Severus to give a complete recount once they were gone.

He reached the gargoyle, spoke the password, and then allowed the stairs to take him up. He didn’t swing the door open, but instead pushed it forward slightly and slipped silently through the gap. No use shocking the old wizard awake, if indeed he ever slept.

The room into which he stepped was almost pitch black. Using his eerily good night vision, and knowledge of the layout of the office he stepped in further and moved towards where he could see Albus’s outline.

As he neared him he caught another outline to his left, turning sharply he recognised the wizard slumped in the armchair.

“He’s been there since you were summoned. He wouldn’t leave. Kept insisting he be here and awake when you came back, but it seems that today’s excitement got the better of him.”

He didn’t jump at the voice, but slowly turned to its source, absent mindedly waving his wand at the sleeping Black, and meeting a concerned but amused face.

“What?” He spoke uncharacteristically quietly, his voice soft. A tone rarely heard from him.

But the older wizard simply shook his head and motioned Severus to the other chair.

“I don’t have much to...” but he was cut off by Albus’s raised hand.

“That can wait; firstly we need to fix you. How bad is it?” Severus barely managed to resist the urge to roll his eyes at the concern for his well being, not because it was unappreciated but because he was still unaccustomed to it even after all these years, and it was the only thing he could think of doing besides crying his eyes out at the fact that someone cared.

And he wasn’t going to do that.

“I’m fine Albus. Seriously.” He added upon seeing the incredulous expression. “He was only angry that I had not informed him of my plan to free Black. I should have known that one of them would talk, but I placated him with my plans to convert him to ‘our’ side now that he was in my debt.” He spat the word out like some disgusting flavoured Bertie Botts bean.

He didn’t like the presence of guilt on the old wizards face and was quick to attempt to remove it.

“He was frustrated tonight Albus. It is taking him far longer than he would like to regain his strength and he is taking it out on us all. If it hadn’t been for this, it would have been over something else and it could have been a lot worse. As it was, it was only the Cruciatus and only once, as I said he hasn’t the strength to waste on proper punishment.” The guilt wasn’t gone completely but it had faded.

“Perhaps I should call Poppy up.” The concern was back though. This time he didn’t resist his urge and his eyes rolled dramatically.

“I am fine Albus. When I return to my rooms I promise to drink one of my potions, there is absolutely no reason to wake up Poppy at this time in the morning. That woman is scary enough with a full night’s sleep I shudder to think how she would be after being woken for this.” His eyes smiled at the Headmasters’ laugh, but it didn’t reach his lips. It never did.

“As I was saying when I arrived, I don’t know much at the moment. As always my orders are to watch you and Potter and plan ways to rid the world of you. How shall I fail this time, I wonder? Perhaps a miss brewed death potion, I shall have to think longer on the specifics.”

And the Headmaster laughed again. This time louder, and Severus finally relaxed into the chair allowing the sound to wash over him. It was so much more soothing than the evil hissing laugh of Voldemort, and it worked far better on his frayed nerves than a potion ever would.

Not that he’d admit it of course.

Not even under veritaserum.

* * *

 

He woke up groggily to the sound of...laughter?

He pushed his eyelids apart and stared around the room trying to remember where he was.

Finally his surroundings became familiar and he snuggled back into the chair, pulling the blanket tighter around him. His eyes shot open again.

He hadn’t had a blanket.

Confused he pulled a section of the material in front of his eyes using his dog’s night vision to make out the detail. It wasn’t black as he had first thought, but a very dark green, and the border of small silver snakes around the edge looked neither distasteful nor overly glamorous.

Knowing that there was no chance that Albus would summon such an item for him, even as a joke, the only option was the person he had been waiting for, but why would he have taken the energy to?

“Ah it would seem that our resident accused has decided to grace us with his presence.” Amazingly there was no bite to the voice and Sirius had never heard it so soft. It was strangely sexy to hear that velvet voice coming from the dark.

“That’s wrongly accused thank you very much.” He grouched pulling himself up into a more respectable position.

“So nice to see that you are still such a morning person Black.”

“So nice to see that you haven’t been killed yet Snape, sending you back in the light, tsk tsk do they not know it will kill you?”

He’s words were met with silence and he was suddenly worried he had gone too far. When had it come to the point that he worried about taunting Snape? Oh, he needed more sleep.

Suddenly his eyes were blinded by light and before they had a chance to adjust he heard Snape speak from beside his ear.

“It would seem that it is not me that is affected by the light, Black.” And he was gone again, leaving Sirius to wonder if he had imagined the amusement in his voice.


	3. Chapter 3

Today you will be brewing the Pervian potion. Can anyone tell me the main use for this potion, or have you all conveniently forgotten your summer assignment?” His sneer was directed at the Gryffindors and is heart almost stopped when his gaze swung to Potter who had his hand in the air.“Potter can you not control your bodily functions until after my lesson has finished?” The Slytherins sniggered but the boy just smiled slightly and kept his hand in the air. He sighed before asking.

“Yes Potter.”

“Sir the Pervian potion, when ingested, causes the drinkers skin to change colour depending on it’s strength, it is mainly used by wizards wishing to camouflage into the background without casting an invisibility charm.” Did he just wink at him?

What he had said was true, but he couldn’t give the boy points, it would be reputational suicide, not to mention what would happen when young Mr Malfoy reported home. But hadn’t the boy described the effects of the potion as well as the usage. He hadn’t asked for that.

Now he was certain it had been a wink.

“While it is obvious that you have been receiving lectures from Miss Granger, you failed to listen to the question carefully. 5 points from Gryffindor for giving more information then necessary. You would be wise to remember that the least information given the better. Now moving on, the ingredient list is on the board, the ingredients are in the cupboards, begin.”

There he had done it; he’d taken points but given useful advice at the same time. Sure he’d been trying to do that for years, but this time it actually seemed to have worked. Obviously Potter was genuine in his gratitude for helping his Godfather.

Just as he was reaching to begin marking some papers, before stalking around the class, an explosion to his right drew his attention and he sighed to himself.

“Mr Longbottom clear that up immediately, and 5 points from Gryffindor for your carelessness.”

It would seem that some people were simply beyond his help.

* * *

 

It was a week later before he saw him again.

He’d been busy catching up on all he had missed as a fugitive and Snape had been busy with teaching, but he was already seated when Sirius arrived late for the Order meeting. Sitting in the free chair beside Snape, he was met with a raised eyebrow and a spreading smirk.

Let the games begin.

“And we thought you had forgotten about us while you relished in your freedom. I had such high hopes.”  
“Like I could forget you, Snape. What with your charming personality and all, it would be hopeless to even try.”

Everyone but Albus was watching them with trepidation, but before any more could be said the old wizard spoke, his eyes twinkling brightly at the two of them, before addressing the rest of the order.

“Now that we are all here, I would first like to take the time to officially congratulate Sirius on justice finally made.” There was loud agreement at this, but Snape was unusually silent, glaring daggers at the purple robed wizard that stood in front of them. Sirius didn’t understand the reaction until a question reached his ears.  
“Did you find out who it was yet Sirius?” It was Molly Weasley that spoke, and he felt more than saw Snape tense beside him. So he still didn’t want to be known, he could live with that, after all he did owe him quite a lot.

“Well actually...” he paused as Snape lowered his head in resignation, his hair falling like a black curtain around his face, and he began to shrink away trying to disappear into the background.

“No,” he finished.

Snape’s head shot up so fast he was sure the wizard would have whiplash. He met his questioning gaze with a wide smile and hoped to convey the reasons behind his answer with the look. At Snape’s barely detectable nod, he knew that he had been successful.

The majority of the meeting passed with little new information until it was Snape’s turn to present his ‘findings’ and then it got a little more exciting, in a morbid way.

“The Dark Lord is getting stronger. He has decided a night for announcing his ‘return to power’ but will not say as of yet when it is. He has announced that he will stage a full attack on the night, and that the setting will be Hogwarts, and as such he will summon me away 2 days before the attack occurs. He wants all the Death Eaters with him for the attack.” He paused as the whispering voices got louder nearly drowning out his own.

It was Moody that spoke up first, directing his question at the Headmaster without even so much as glancing in the Potions Master's direction. And his question was the same as always.

“How can we know that what he says is truth, that he hasn’t just fed us a load of lies so he has an escape route to run back to his Master?”

Sirius watched as Snape’s long fingers curled into fists, and then uncurled stiffly as he visibly brought himself under control. He admired the willpower of the wizard, he was tempted to hex the retired Auror himself and it was only Snape’s false calmness that stopped him.

“I assure you his information is true. But if you need further proof, I am sure Severus will agree to retelling it under veritaserum.” Albus’s voice was cold even if his words were not.

“How would we know the stuff works, he’s the one that makes it?”

“We could always try it on you.” It was the voice he reserved for when he caught students out after hours, and it had the same affect on most here as it did on the students, unfortunately it seemed to have the opposite effect on the paranoid wizard. He looked positively irate now, no longer concerned for the truth behind Snape’s information, but wanting to settle an old score he still couldn’t accept as over.

“You’re no saint Snape. We all know what you are. Once a Death Eater always a Death Eater I say. You’ve done nothing to prove any different.” He seemed to have conveniently forgotten the many attacks on muggles and wizards alike that were prevented because of prior knowledge of the events, and the many wizards that were being closely watched by several in the Ministry because their status as Death Eater had been revealed to them and Sirius knew that reminding him of that wouldn’t help, there was only one thing that might, and as he saw both men going for their wands he reacted as though on reflex.

“He saved me.” The words had the desired affect as both men stilled in their movements and turned towards him with very different expressions, sadly so did the remainder of the order, and while Snape looked like he had taken a curse to the stomach, everyone else was looking at him questioningly. He saw the resignation in Snape’s eyes as they slipped closed slowly, but when he opened them again it was gone, replaced by determination.

“If you will excuse me, I am finished here and I have other things to occupy my time.” He turned to leave and Sirius shouted after him, stilling his movements yet again.

“Wait. They need to know this.” He looked back at him with a look that said ‘It won’t make a difference.’ But he returned to his seat. A growing scowl clouding his features.

Sirius lifted his gaze off him and looked out at the sea of confused faces.

Albus’s smile was all the encouragement he needed and he repeated the same story he had told Harry, Ron and Hermione, including the things Snape had added himself.

When he finished the room fell into silence and for a moment the intense looks every member had made him regret opening his mouth and he was close to apologising to Snape yet again when Molly rose from her chair beside her husband and approached the still scowling Snape. He glared as she got closer, but it didn’t faze her at all.

As she stepped into his personal space he stood, his whole body tense, ready for the insult or slap that would come. What he wasn’t ready for were the surprisingly strong arms that embraced him and drew him close to her. He didn’t return the embrace but his body did begin to relax as he became accustomed to the foreign action.

She drew back slowly; as if aware that this was the first hug he had had in a little less than 3 decades. She smiled at him then. Before turning to face the stunned audience.

“I would think that that is reason enough to trust him. I shudder to think what You-Know-Who would do to him if he found out.” She sounded genuinely concerned, and he hadn’t the heart to tell her.

* * *

 

Sirius went back to Hogwarts with Snape and Albus. As they reached the edge of the castle’s grounds, he dropped back slightly, now in line with Snape, who had been trailing them all the way. He hadn’t spoken since the meeting, and although his features seemed set in a permanent scowl, Sirius was sure he was in shock. Everyone else definitely was. After Molly, many of the other members had either risen to thank him, or agreed that he could now be trusted. Moody had been so stunned to find that Snape had freed his ‘bane of existence’ that he had remained even quieter than Snape.

“Well that went well.” That seemed to break through whatever stupor he had been in, but the only visible change was his scowl deepening.

“Yes, nearly being gripped to death by a Weasley and then being sucked up to by people who wouldn’t care less if I died in this war just so long as they know where the attack is. Yes I would have to agree completely with you Black. The only way it could have gone better was if the Dark Lord himself had shown up, then I would have the chance to prove my loyalties to both sides together, it would save me a lot of time.” He had spoken low, his voice coated with sarcasm, but lacking his usual bite, by the last sentence the malice was back, and sarcasm replaced by bitterness.

He’d never thought about it like that, but now he realised it must be true. His loyalties were always questioned at every order meeting, and knowing Voldemort, it wouldn’t be any different at those meetings either. And suddenly he found himself looking at the wizard beside him with a newfound respect.

He’d always respected him to a certain extent, but his anger and hate had managed to hide that away, now though he could see just how the war would be affecting him. He had chosen his side years before the end of the first war, but was still not trusted by either side. In choosing the light he had turned his back on the people Sirius suspected were the closest to friends Snape had had at school, in order to work under constant suspicion with people that shunned him at every move. He couldn’t imagine living like that. Even after his escape when some still suspected him, after the Order were told of his innocence they had immediately accepted and welcomed him in.

No wonder Snape had hated him then, he’d been trying for years to be trusted and Sirius, a convicted murderer, had done it within a few minutes.

He didn’t pity him. That would have been unwelcome, but he did understand him better now, he understood the cold tones, the sarcasm, the passive indifference, they were all ways of hiding, because he was sure that no matter how deep Snape buried his feelings, it still hurt him deeper every time he had to prove himself to them.

It was at that moment of understanding that he decided to help Snape. It wasn’t his way of returning the favour, but he was starting to see more to the wizard, than the black robes and sharp tongue, and going back to their conversation the night he arrived at the castle, he was sure that they could move on from hate and perhaps become some sort of friends. He wasn’t sure why he wanted it, sure it would help Snape, but he wanted it himself. He wanted to get to know him. He had only ever caught glimpses of the real Severus Snape, and now he wanted to see more. He wanted so much, but some of it he still couldn’t figure out, so for now he would settle for another conversation without wands being drawn.

They had reached the Entrance Hall now and he saw Snape nod goodnight to them both before turning away to the stairs that led to the Dungeons.

Making his decision, he trailed the Slytherin until he stopped in front of a tall portrait of Slytherin himself, a large black snake curled lazily around his shoulder.

“What do you want Black?” He didn’t turn around, but he didn’t walk away or hex him either.  
“I want to talk to you. You still haven’t answered my question.” It was a weak shot, but judging by the ridgidness of the Professor’s body now, it had hit its mark.

“Very well.” And then he did something Sirius had not expected, he spoke the password to his rooms and allowed him access. Surprisingly it wasn’t the action that was unexpected, it was the words he had spoken, or more accurately hissed.

“You’re a Parselmouth!”

A roll of his eyes and then, “It would seem so, yes.” And he motioned stiffly to a comfortable chair beside a roaring fire.

“But you never said. All the time we were at school, and now. Does anyone else know?” Snape still hadn’t taken a seat himself and instead he stood beside the fire, the flames reflected in his ebony eyes.  
“I was enough of an outcast in school without everyone knowing this, and now, can you truly see this as being a welcome revelation. People still see Parseltongue as being the mark of a Dark Wizard, maybe they’re right. Perhaps Potter is just the exception, but even he was viewed with suspicion when his skill was discovered, but for me...” He left the sentence hanging, but Sirius knew what had been unspoken. If anyone else knew they would suspect him even more than they did now.

After a few moments of silence Snape turned and moved to the second chair.

“What are you doing here Black?”

“I just wanted to ask you some questions.”

“Don’t you know enough about me yet? I can assure you that anything interesting occurred within the heritage you’ve learnt. What’s left is me and that isn’t a subject anyone would want to talk about. But if it should answer your question, and I know you have speculated, I do wash my hair, everyday in fact, but you try spending 12 hours a day surrounded by potion fumes and we’ll see what your hair looks like.” His tone was emotionless and he slumped slightly in his chair, despite his best efforts to the contrary.

A joke and slumping, he must be tired.

“Snape when was the last time you slept?” He bristled at that but his tone remained controlled.

“I didn’t realise I had to explain myself to you. But if you must know, with the Order meeting tonight and Death Eater meetings the last few nights I would say that the last time I slept for any amount of time would be about 3 days ago. But it doesn’t matter, so ask your questions, at least you’ll have the advantage of reflex speed over me should I feel the need to hex you.”

Sirius still wasn’t sure if he should just leave the man to sleep but he wouldn’t get a better chance and the likeliness of getting Snape in a position where he would open up was almost nil. Taking Snape’s invitation he asked all the questions he had ever had about him, and added the new questions he had after the recent revelations of Snape’s background. After a few minutes they were engaged in comfortable conversation.

“Why did you hate your family?”

“They made me into who I am.” Seeing Black’s confusion he sighed and elaborated. “They taught me every dark curse they knew before I came to Hogwarts, and we both know how that knowledge helped my school life. When I’d learnt all the spells they could teach they bought me books on the Dark Arts, they wouldn’t let me read anything else. Later on, in the summer of my 6th year when the Dark Lord was beginning to rise, they took me to him and I think you can guess how that meeting went. I disowned them then. I came running to Albus and he took me in. He believed that it hadn’t been my choice and we worked out a way for me to stay alive but still be on the side of the Light. The next time I went back to the Dark Lord it actually didn’t take a lot of Slytherin persuasion to make him believe that although I had walked away from my parents, I was still just as loyal to him as I had been when I took the Mark, which was true just not in the way he assumed. And the rest, as they say, is history.”

He wasn’t sure why he had said it all. He could easily have given the barest of details and still successfully answered the question, but he didn’t want to. He wanted someone to know. He wanted Sirius to know. After all the years of hating him, he had stood up for him in front of the Order and he deserved to know more about the man he was defending. And then there was of course the confusing feelings that swam around his head, and he realised that right now he actually needed to tell Sirius all about it, but he knew enough of himself to know he’d regret it in the morning, when the Golden Trio were spreading it around the rest of the school.

But right now it was just nice to have an evening conversation with anyone, and it had been so long since he had done this with anyone other than the Headmaster that he didn’t care that his very private past was the subject.  
Sirius didn’t speak for a few minutes, his brain sorting out the information he’d been given, while his eyes watched the man sitting in front of him. He’d never seen him look this relaxed. So perhaps for anyone else the way he sat; back still almost ramrod straight, wouldn’t be described as relaxed, but for Snape it was. Some of the stress had left his face since they’d been sitting there, which was the complete opposite reaction than he had expected after asking such a personal question.

Confused but still a bit too curious about the wizard he asked another question and was even more surprised by the reaction.

“If you despised your family so much, why didn’t you change your name too isn’t that what most do, it’s what I intended to do?”

And Snape Smiled. He actually smiled, and it didn’t look sinister, even if it was a little bitter.

“Well, since, like most pureblood families, most of my relations were all Snape’s and the only one that was never connected to the Dark Lord... well I think you’ll agree that coming back here for 7th year calling myself; Severus Black, would have got me hexed more times than the average Death Eater meeting.”

Sirius just stared at him.

“Black...you mean that you never got that far away from your family because it was my name?” Why the hell did he feel so guilty about that?

“Well yes, at that time that is. But now I think I’m grateful I didn’t change it, not having Snape as a last name would have made the appeal at the ministry that much harder to achieve.”

He looked down before raising his eyes up to a point just beside Snape’s head.

“I never thanked you for that. Or apologised for the things I said to you after.” It was the closest to an apology his pride would allow, and Snape seemed to know that.

“I told I didn’t need your gratitude Black, and as for the apology, when have we ever apologised for those fights. I think that if we started apologising every time we fought, Molly would have a heart attack, though it would almost be worth it to see the look on Moody’s face.” The smile turned slightly malicious then as he drifted into the fantasy.

“What happened between you two? I mean I know he’s paranoid about everyone and everything, but there’s this really weird tension between you.” He stopped, wondering if he had gone too far as an unfamiliar look of pain crossed over Snape’s features. Suddenly Sirius wondered if the two men had been lovers before. That would explain the hatred the pair had and all the tension. He tried not to think about the jealousy that threatened to overcome him at that thought.

“He was the Auror that killed my parents. It was Albus that stopped him coming after me too, and he’s never forgotten that. I think he liked the idea of getting rid of all the Snapes himself.”

“I’m sorry.” And he was surprised to find he was.

“It wasn’t your fault Black. And I got over it a long time ago. Like I said, I’d disowned my parents by then and I’d even stood against them in the battle, even if they didn’t know, it’s only that bloody Auror’s tauntings that get to me anymore, not what he did. He still feels he has a score to settle and he won’t be content until I’m gone, either by his hand or the Dark Lord’s. I think he’ll get his wish pretty soon so there’s no need for you to feel sorry about any of it.” There was definitely an air of finality to the words so Black moved on quickly, not dwelling on the odd sadness he felt when he realised the truth in Snape’s words. The man really wasn’t expecting to live through this war. True none of them had complete certainty that they would survive, but they at least had some degree of hope. Snape had resigned himself to his fate and had no hope at all for his own survival.

“Why’d you do it?” Well that wasn’t very specific, and from Snape’s raised eyebrow he didn’t think so either.

“Why do you spy? We always thought it was some sort of way to redeem yourself because of all the things you’d done before you realised the error of your ways, but since they weren’t _your _ways...” He paused, and then began again. “Look, I know we’re not friends, and I know you probably still hate me, but I really am grateful for what you did for me and what you’ve been doing for the Order and for Harry, and I just want to try to understand you a little better. I think I want us to be friends.” He added sheepishly, looking away from Snape and into the flames in the fireplace.

When no sound came for what seemed like hours, Sirius collected all his Gryffindor bravery and turned to once again face Snape. Grey met black and he couldn’t draw his gaze away. Snape still didn’t speak, and he looked as he had after Molly’s impromptu hug. Finally, Snape shifted his eyes to the floor and spoke in a voice close to a whisper, sounding to Sirius like the boy they had taunted mercilessly.

“No one’s ever asked to be my friend before.” He seemed to shake himself then, and Sirius sat too stunned to move when those eyes once again sought out his own, burning with anger and no small amount of hurt.  
“Is this another joke Black?” He spat the name, the words coming out so close to hisses that Sirius wasn’t sure they weren’t in Parseltongue. “Get Snivillus to talk about his past and then hit him where it hurts. Well I think you’ve done it Black, congratulations, now you can report back to Lupin and your little friends and tell them you’ve succeeded in your attempts and when you decide it’s time to try to kill me again, make sure you keep Potter out of the way. I should have died the first time; I wouldn’t want to disappoint you by being saved by a Potter a second time.”

He was shaking now, but not completely from rage. How could he have fallen for that? He was supposed to be stronger than that. He should have seen through the caring words, through the lies. He was spy for Merlin’s sake. But it had felt so good to speak to someone. To have someone that actually gave a damn about him. It had clouded his judgement and he was paying for it now. But damn it, it’d felt so good. He wanted to shout some more, he wanted to throw things at Black, he wanted to curl up in a ball and cry like he’d only done once before, he wanted someone to hold him like Molly had, and tell him it’d all be ok. But it wasn’t ok. It never would be, and pretty soon Black was going to do just as he’d said and it was going to get so much worse.

All the anger left him and he lent forward in his chair, head in his hands, resting his elbows on his knees, his hair falling like a veil across his face as he fought to regain the tight control he usually had on his emotions, struggling to re-erect the walls he’d allowed to fall.

He flinched when he felt a warm weight rest on his shoulder, but he didn’t have the strength to pull away.  
Sirius sat in shock at the sudden outburst. He hadn’t thought when he’d spoken that Snape would think like that, but he realised belatedly that he would have reacted similarly had it been him in Snape’s position. He was contemplating leaving the raging wizard alone before he found himself under the care of Poppy, when Snape’s shoulders sagged and his head fell low to his hands, disappearing behind his hair. He couldn’t leave now. Not when they had been so close. Not when just seeing him like this caused Sirius to want to hex everyone that had hurt him, himself included. He’d vowed to help Snape, and he was going to do just that, regardless of whether his sudden interest in Snape’s welfare sprung from deeper, previously well-hidden feelings.

He moved slowly over to the sunken figure and after a short pause he rested his hand on Snape’s shoulder in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. He half expected to be thrown across the room, and he flinched in tandem with Snape but he didn’t remove his hand, instead he slipped to his knees beside the chair and using his free hand he reached through the black hair and caught him beneath the chin, raising and turning his head so Snape had no option but to look him in the eyes as he spoke, wondering where he was getting the courage and words from. The lost look in the normally strong dark eyes tore at him but he pushed forward, knowing he had to get this right or else he would make everything so much worse.

“I was an idiot. I was a foolish teenager that didn’t think of the consequences of his actions but I didn’t want to kill you Sna...Severus. I’ve never wanted you dead, ever. I might have thought it when we’d fight, but I didn’t mean it then and I don’t mean it now, if nothing else you have to believe that.” When he received a small nod into the hand that still held Severus’s chin he continued, feeling more confident now. “I meant what I said Sev, I want us to be friends, I think maybe,” he paused again before gulping and continuing knowing there was going to be no other time to say this, “I want to be more than friends.” He stopped again, his heart beating so loud against his chest he was sure the whole castle could hear, and he waited.

He watched the lost look go from Snape’s eyes, he saw understanding, shock and dawning flash across them and then he saw something else, and he didn’t want to name it in case it turned out to be wrong, he wanted to be able to deny everything to himself when it all fell down around him, as was inevitable. But he couldn’t deny it when he felt something soft press gingerly against his lips and before it could pull away, he tightened his grip on Snape’s shoulder and released his chin, drawing him closer, his now free hand finding its way to the long black hair, his lips pressing back vigorously.

His heart almost stopped when he felt Severus’s tongue press against his lips and he parted them with a groan, his own tongue coming alive. He shivered when their tongues met, and he pulled Severus even closer, until he was kneeling on the floor with him. He felt hands on his back and his muscles jumped at the touch. They trailed across his spine, one coming to rest against the small of his back, the other finding its place in his hair by the nape of his neck.

Their tongues fought for dominance in an intense kiss, surprisingly gentle in nature, until their need for air forced them apart. Panting as Snape pulled away to catch his breath, Sirius watched him; horror clutching as he waited for Snape to realise what he’d done and reject him. His heart stilled when slender fingers moved to brush against his cheek, closely followed by warm lips. He bit back a whine as the lips left him and Snape pulled them both to their feet. He kissed him again, more passionately, and when they pulled back he could clearly see the lines of exhaustion marring Severus’s face.

Clutching Severus’s hand in his own he pulled the man to the door, realising that he needed to leave, but not wanting to make it seem like the rejection it certainly wasn’t.

He turned to him as the door swung open and pulled him into a kiss.

“You need sleep and if I stay much longer I don’t think you’d get any anytime soon.” He said as they pulled apart.

Severus merely nodded, still quite shocked at what was happening, but enjoying it too much to question it.

Sirius was almost at the end of the dungeon corridor when Severus’s smooth voice reached him.

“Black, don’t call me Sev.”

* * *

 

He was more than a little apprehensive as he approached the doors to the Great Hall. Not only was it the first time he’d gone to breakfast here since his schooldays, but it was the first time he would see Severus since that night 2 days before.

Had it been any other time he would have suspected Severus of avoiding him, but it had been the weekend, and with what was being, optimistically, called ‘the final battle’ drawing closer he knew that all the Professors were busy devising plans of defence to ensure the safety of the children as much as possible. It had been decided after much argument, Remus had said, that the children were to remain at Hogwarts, much to Snape’s anger, it appeared he wanted the students as far away as possible, regardless of the implications if the entire castle were evacuated the minute Severus was summoned.

He himself had spent the weekend catching up with Harry, Ron and Hermione, and doing all the things he had waited almost 15 years to do. He learnt that Harry had been receiving extra defence lessons with Remus and now Snape at Harry’s insistence, which had apparently surprised everyone but the headmaster, on top of the extra defence the 5th through to 7th years were already doing.

The castle was preparing for battle and unfortunately it was going to need the help of these mere children to survive it. There was to be another Order meeting that night, and all plans would be brought together, everyone having been given tasks to complete. Thankfully neither side had asked for assistance from ‘non-wizards’, having dragons and trolls to contend with would have complicated things far more.

It seemed as though Voldemort didn’t expect much from his attack. The usage of all his Death Eaters was for nothing more than show, and from Severus’s accounts his strength hadn’t returned fully since his rebirth, and it was solely because of frustration and his servants’ anxiousness to wreak havoc that he was going to attack Hogwarts.

At least they would have the element of surprise. Surely Voldemort wouldn’t arrive expecting to see Aurors and full grown, trained witches and wizards instead of terrified children.

He wasn’t sure what was to happen to Severus during the attack, and quite honestly it scared him. Hopefully it’d be sorted at the meeting, because he found that he really needed to know.

Taking a calming breath, he pushed the doors open, wishing for the hundredth time that he had left early for breakfast.  
As soon as the doors swung open, all nervousness left him. The room erupted into cheers and he found himself grinning like a Cheshire cat at them. He made his way up to the Staff table, pausing once on the way to ruffle his Godson’s unruly hair. There were two empty seats at the table. The usual beside Snape, and the one he presumed was reserved for him, beside Flitwick. All the Professors were beaming at him; Albus’s eyes looked like they were about to twinkle out of their sockets.

The only Professor not grinning at him was Snape, but having known the man for some time, he knew that the sneer directed at him was false.

In a move that surprised everyone, including the students, Sirius took the seat beside Severus. Severus’s hand stopped halfway to his mouth and the toast he was holding hung slightly limp. Leaning over slightly, he spoke with his voice no louder than a whisper and as smooth as silk.

“My, my Black, defending me in front of the Order, sitting next to me at breakfast, if you keep this up they’ll think I have you under Imperius.” Before he could sit up straight again Sirius answered back, his grin becoming mischievous.

“Just wait until they see me kissing you senseless in the corridor.”

Snape’s face showed no evidence that he’d heard him, but Sirius swore there was more colour in his cheeks for the rest of the morning.


	4. Chapter 4

He’d arrived together at Grimauld Place with Albus and Black, and since then he hadn’t been able to move without someone asking after his welfare, or offering him food and drink. Upon arrival, Molly had hugged him again, and everyone had greeted him cheerfully for the first time in memory. He had to admit that, regardless of their current situation, the meeting was far less tense than any other he had been to, but he wasn’t sure if he didn’t prefer being ignored to being coddled in this way.At least Black was enjoying it. He’d caught glimpses of him sitting in one of the chairs, but every time he made a move to join him someone would decide to include him in conversation.

Finally, when everyone had arrived and begun taking their seats he glided over to his usual chair. He pointedly ignored Black’s amused gaze and instead focused his attention solely on Albus.

“We have a lot to discuss tonight. Voldemort is getting anxious and the final battle appears to be not far on the Horizon. We need everyone we can to succeed in this fight, and we will succeed. While Voldemort has Dark and number on his side, we have power, strength, intelligence and Light and those are most important of all.” There were lots of nods at this and Albus indicated that the stage be taken by the first of the members to tell of their progress. The meeting continued like this, by the time the ‘spot light’ was on him; he had a good idea of the number they would be fighting with. Moody, Shacklebolt and Tonks had gathered alliance with as many Aurors and Ministry members as they knew to be trustworthy, and the Weasleys, using Bill and Charlie, had the assistance of those working in Gringotts and several Dragon Trainers. Putting that together with all the Professors, the Order members and their families and many of Albus’s other contacts; they would make a formidable army.

Albus spoke again, introducing the topic that many were apprehensive about, none more so than Sirius and Severus himself.

“We don’t know the exact time of the attack, but we know it will be soon, and we will have 2 days prior warning.” Several people sent glances his way, and he wished he could just blend into the wallpaper.

Unfortunately that was his cue and so he stood and addressed the group of people, adopting his lecturing tone so as not to let his own feelings slip through.

“The Dark Lord will summon me away exactly 2 days before the attack is scheduled. While I will not be at Hogwarts until He and the Death Eaters swarm the castle, I have no intention of staying with them longer than that.” Before he could continue he saw two people rise to interrupt. It was Albus that spoke.

“You will stay with them until there is a safe time for you to leave. I will not have you risking yourself unnecessarily.”

“This is a war Albus. There will be no _safe time_. I refuse to play the Death Eater any longer than to arrive at Hogwarts. The Dark Lord trusts me too much Albus, he wishes for me to be at the front of the attack with Malfoy. If I stay with him that long, I will have to fight, and I refuse to fight against my own side.”

It was Black that interrupted this time, all three of them seemingly oblivious to the rest of the Order, who watched them intently.

“And if you turn against him too early he’ll kill you before you can say Merlin, not to mention that he’ll most likely pull back knowing we expect him.”

“What do you expect me to do Black? I can’t fight against you. It’ll be bad enough fighting the people who believe me to be their friend. I don’t particularly wish to face betrayal on both sides and I wasn’t about to point out that I’d been spying. For Merlin’s sake I’m not a damn Gryffindor. I don’t have a death wish, I just don’t see any other way out of this.” There was silence for a moment as thoughts ran through everyone’s mind, until a gruff voice spoke from the back.

Moody walked to stand closer to the front of the room as he spoke.

“You’re all right.” He said, emphasizing ‘all’ by looking at Severus. “Even I can admit that we need you on our side during the battle, but that means that you don’t get yourself killed before it even begins. If we had a spell that would allow us to identify you in battle, without You-Know-Who’s lot knowing, you could disable them from within their ranks. If we knew who you were, then anytime we came up against you the fight could be faked.”

Noticing the pale man’s reluctance to agree he added more. “When it becomes necessary, then you will reveal yourself completely, but by then we should have taken down many of them. It’s not a perfect plan, but it’s far better than revealing yourself early, or dying by one of our hands because we don’t know who you are. All we need is the spell.”

“I think I can aid you with that.” Severus spoke up finally, his offer being his agreement to the plan.  
“It’s an old spell that allows the caster to be identifiable to only those they wish, anything covering their face from view is removed in the eyes of these people so they can be clearly seen.” He paused and again was interrupted by Black.

“Why do I hear a but coming up?”

“Perhaps because your child’s mind is still stuck on first year maturity.” He sneered back, before continuing, smirking at his next word. “_However, _though not Dark Arts by any sense, it is not entirely Light. It is one of only a few spells that require the caster to speak or more accurately hiss the words to the spell.” The moment of understanding was evident by a series of groans and sighs of defeat.

“But Snape, here, can help us with that too can’t you?” He met Sirius’s piercing gaze with his own before turning once more to the expectant crowd of people.

“Yes I can.” He forced out between tightly gritted teeth. By the end of this meeting they’d know every secret he’d ever had.

“But Harry’s the only one who can speak Parseltongue besides You-Know-Who.” Someone spoke from the middle of the gathering. They had gotten bigger since the first meeting, and while it was good that they had more on their side, it made it near impossible to remember names by voice only.

“While Potter is the only other known speaker of Parseltongue, I think you’ll find that I can speak it to an acceptable level.” Seeing the rows of disbelieving, yet hopeful faces he added in a resigned voice. “You can test me if you wish. But if any of you throw a snake at me you’ll find it coming right back towards you.” He warned. He couldn’t believe that after all these years, he was being tested like a school boy, if it wasn’t so important he would have stormed off in indignation.

“Right, but how will we know you’re not just hissing at us?” Another nameless member, he bit back a groan.

“Why I would just hiss for no reason, I don’t know. Just conjure the snake and we’ll go from there.” He was quite amused at how close to a hiss his voice came out and he could hear Sirius chuckling beside him.

“Fine. Serpensortia.” Moody pointed his wand at a spot a few feet away from Snape’s feet, and everyone else took a collective step back as a large black cobra appeared before them. It started towards Sirius with an angry hiss, and Snape almost smiled at the look of shock that passed over his face when he realised Snape wasn’t going to do anything. When Sirius had successfully backed himself into a corner of the room, Snape took pity on him.

“Leave him alone.” He hissed, and the snake instantly turned towards him, but didn’t back off.

“I can understand you. You can speak to me in my tongue, there is not many today who can and who are worthy of the gift. How can I aid you?”

“Please leave that man alone, he is...a friend and will not harm you if left alone.” A smirk settled over his features as the snake moved away from Sirius and came to stop once again in front of his feet.

“Is there nothing else I can do to aid you, it is an honour to speak to one such as yourself.” Everyone in the room could have sworn that the snake bowed then.

“Indeed, the honour is mine also and I would much desire your assistance in demonstrating my ability to communicate with you and your kind. It is vital that these wizards believe me and I am afraid that they require some visual evidence, if you would be so kind as to assist in this.” He always found that being overly polite when talking to serpents guaranteed their agreement to anything.

“I will of course assist you in this, just give the command.” Snape inclined his head in gratitude and then turned his attention to Moody.

“What do you want him to do?”

The ex-Auror didn’t turn his normal eye away from the snake, but the other swung around to latch onto Snape.  
“Instruct it to lie across my shoulders, but not to strangle or bite me.”

Snape was almost as speechless as the others.

“Are you sure you trust me that much?” Both his tone and expression was incredulous.

“Snape, most of the wizarding world have, unknowingly, trusted you with their own and their families’ lives for years. Besides if it goes to strike me I will have the perfect excuse to turn you over to the Aurors.” He smiled in a strange, mock-evil way and Snape smirked back before once again turning to the snake and making his requests.

The snake carried them out fluidly and even went so far as to fall asleep in its wrapped position. Now with evidence of Snape’s skill they accepted the ancient spell into their plan, to be preformed the next day to ensure it was done before Voldemort summoned him.

* * *

 

Once again Sirius found himself walking back to Hogwarts with Albus and Snape, only this time he had remained at the Potions Master’s side since leaving the meeting.

After Snape’s little ‘show’, and the subsequent more in-depth detailing of the spell, which Sirius was surprised to find the library in his house held books on, each of which Snape found with relative ease, they had finalised battle plans and everything was prepared for the battle, everyone ready to leave the instant they were called. He was in two minds about the battle.

Part of him, led mainly by his head, wanted it to be soon. He wanted it to be over, he wanted Voldemort dead, the war over and no more living in fear for the future, he wanted to be free to take Harry anywhere in the world without worrying that they’d be captured and killed, but mostly he wanted Severus to be free.

He wanted him to be able to go where he wanted without the risk of being summoned at someone’s will.

But then the other part of him, the part lead by his heart, didn’t want the battle to ever occur. He didn’t want to lose anymore people to Voldemort’s wars; he didn’t want Harry to be put in the situation where he could end up with his parents, where the fate of the wizarding world rested on his young shoulders. He couldn’t bring himself to think of the dangers the battle would hold for them all.

Harry would be protected by all those on their side. He wasn’t to fight until they had diminished Voldemort’s numbers, they would all be looking out for him throughout the entire battle until they were victorious, he knew that they would win; the other option was too horrible to think about. But what about everyone else. They would all lose someone, it was inevitable, but it didn’t make it any easier and then there were those more at risk than others.

Severus Snape for example.

He was dangerously walking a thin line between the two sides. His loyalties may lie with the light but his body would be with the dark. Although they had persuaded Snape to stay with the Death Eaters for as long as possible it was still too risky for his liking. Snape would have to fight both sides while keeping the pretence of the loyal servant to his master.

Sirius couldn’t even begin to imagine how hard that would be, pretending to be so many things at the same time, being right in the centre of the action, being so far into the centre that he was mixed with both sides and he had no one to watch him.

He wasn’t being kept out of the battle until they felt it would be easier for him. If he had his way, Sirius would have taken both Harry and Severus so far away from the battle that they wouldn’t even know it was happening.  
But it wasn’t up to him, and so Severus would fight with both sides until he revealed himself, and Harry would defeat the Dark Lord when his followers had fallen. He supposed he should be somewhat relieved that some precautions were being taken. Keeping Harry away for a while, and the spell that revealed Snape would at least make it a little safer for the two, but Sirius wasn’t relieved.

He was certain that no one would let Harry die, if for no reason than his importance to the safety of the world, but once Snape’s loyalties were revealed he would be in even more danger than Harry, for revenge and betrayal are far stronger than the need to defeat a foe, or rise above the rest, and for Voldemort and his army they would be far more important. He wondered at why he felt so strongly about keeping Snape safe, he still wasn’t sure what there was between them, but after that kiss he knew without a doubt that there was something and he was incredibly worried that they would never have the chance to explore it.

He didn’t realise where his body had taken him until he was torn abruptly from his musings by the sound of his name.

“...Sirius!” He turned to find a confused and slightly amused Snape standing in front of him.

“Wow I didn’t realise we were on first name terms Sev.” His tone held only amusement not anger and no hidden meaning, it was simply a joke that gave his mind time to spin back to reality.

“Yes, well I tried every other name I could think of first, but once that didn’t get through to you I implored desperate measures.” He grouched out, making no mention of the shortened use of his name. Sirius just smiled back at him, wondering if perhaps he just hadn’t noticed, or actually didn’t mind it.

“I bet you did.” He looked around only now realising that he had walked with Snape all the way down to the dungeons and into his chambers.

He took the time to look around the room. He’d only been here once and he’d been a little too preoccupied that time to actually take in the room. He assumed that he was standing in the living room and it amazed him. He didn’t know what he had expected the infamous wizard’s rooms to look like, in fact Snape’s décor was one of the most common speculations of the castle, but this wasn’t it. It seemed that the man’s cold and empty persona didn’t stretch to his living space.

The walls were covered with one mahogany bookcase after another, barely any of the grey stone showed through. The bookcases were covered, floor to ceiling with more books than Sirius had ever seen in one place before, old and new sat side by side in what Sirius’s quick glance suggested was an order subject by subject.

Moving from the walls his gaze moved to the two large arm chairs that sat just off centre, facing slightly into each other, but not straight on. He expected the bottle green colour, but the chairs looked both comfortable and elegant all at once, folded across the back of the chair closest him he found the blanket that had covered him in the Headmaster’s office. Between them was a low coffee table, in the same wood as the bookcases, the legs carved in an intricate design of snakes twisting around themselves, with a frosted glass top that swirled as you watched it.

While most of the floor was light grey floor stones matching those of the rest of the dungeons, sunk into them underneath the chairs and table and going to about 3 feet from each wall was a thick green carpet, the look of which made Sirius want to revert to his animagus form and curl down for the night.

Resisting the urge with effort he moved to the greatest feature in the room. The fire place had to be the best in the castle, he thought. In contrast to the pale stone walls and floor, the fireplace was made from Obsidian glass. Taking up more than half of the wall, the centre feature was once again roaring with flames and he watched as they leaped up toward the black glass, reflecting perfectly in its surface, the effect was amazing and he knew why the chairs both faced more towards it.

He already felt his body relaxing as he watched the light create hypnotising patterns across the floor as it reflected back from the glass, and he blindly allowed the hand on the small of his back to push him towards one of the chairs and sit him down in it.

All his earlier thoughts came back to him as he sat in silence watching the flames, unconsciously sipping the scotch that had been placed in his hand. He didn’t want to lose anymore. Not now that he was finally free. Now that he had his life back, he didn’t want to lose it again, and losing any of the people he cared for would mean just that.

He didn’t realise he’d been crying until a pale hand came up to brush away the tears from his cheek with a gentleness he didn’t expect from the feared man. Finally drawing his eyes away from the fire he moved from one Obsidian to another. Severus’s eyes reflected the flame light just as the fireplace had only there was more than just light reflected there. He found concern in his eyes and something even more valuable to him; understanding.

He understood what was going through Sirius’s mind and he felt the same way. For years it had never mattered to him if he lived through the battles. He’d had nothing but students to come back to and he’d felt that as long as his tasks for the Order were completed it didn’t matter whether he returned or not, but now it was different.

Right now he had something to come back to.

What ever was happening between himself and Black it was enough for him to wish for the first time that he would get through this alive. Cautiously he pulled the other man from the chair and into his arms on the floor. He usually wasn’t good at comforting people, but being a Head of House he had had to develop some skills at it, for even in Slytherin there were first-year students who would seek comfort from feelings of homesickness and the heartbreak of losing parents, sadly the latter had become increasingly common the last few years in his house. It didn’t matter what the wizards and witches had done in life, or the choices they had made, as wrong as they may have been, they were their children’s parents and it hurt just as much to lose Death Eater parents as it did to lose Auror parents.  
Something many of his colleagues had seemed to forget as of late.

The feel of being surrounded by Severus’s arms tipped Sirius over the top and the silent tears became sobs that wracked both their bodies. Everything he had never had a chance to release before was let out now, and he found himself holding onto Snape as though his life depended on it.

They weren’t all tears of sadness. He didn’t feel that bad, but he felt so much and so many different feelings at the same time that this was the only way to let them all out before he drowned in them. Instead of feeling embarrassed about showing this weakness in front of Snape, he had never felt more grateful for the wizard’s presence and he realised with shocking clarity that, though they had only been on speaking terms for a few days, losing Severus in the battle would hurt just as much as losing Harry or Remus.

Severus held Sirius close as he cried, silent tears slipping from his own eyes even as he fought against them. He rubbed one hand in soothing circles across the crying man’s back while the other stroked the unkempt black hair. Even as he tried to ignore it he could fell the Dark Mark on his arm begin to tingle. He wouldn’t be summoned now, but very soon, probably before dawn. He wanted to know where all his servants were before he began to summon them.  
Finally Sirius’s breathing evened out, the sobs subsided and the tears stopped falling, but he didn’t fall asleep. The warmth of Snape’s arms filled him, but he began to notice that a small area was warmer than the rest. Suddenly he pulled his head away from Snape’s chest, losing the comforting sound of his heart beating.

“Is he summoning you?” His voice was hoarse from his tears and filled with fear. They weren’t ready! The spell hadn’t been performed. If Snape was summoned now their plans would be for nothing. They needed more time. He needed more time.

“No. It’s just a locator charm. Through his connection with the Mark he uses it to find us.” Relief flooded him at Severus’s straight answer and without even realising he pulled Snape to him and their lips locked. There was more passion than before as both men sought the comfort and safety the other provided. When they pulled away for breath they just sat looking at each other for a few moments before Severus broke the silence. Sirius realised then that in his mind he referred to Snape as both ‘Snape’ and ‘Severus’ although ‘Severus’ was winning these days.

“He’s not calling me now, but he will soon. I think it prudent that I perform the spell tonight, we cannot risk waiting until tomorrow.” As he spoke he rose from the floor and held out a hand to Sirius.

“Do you want me to get the Headmaster?” He couldn’t help noticing Snape’s swollen lips as he accepted the offered hand and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet, and it made him want to make them swell even more.

“No. That won’t be necessary. Though the spell is Light because of its power it will trigger several of his alarms, so if he wants to be here, he’ll know when to come.” Something about that worried Sirius so he asked.

“If it’s that powerful won’t Voldemort know your using it, especially if he is still connected to you?” He loosely indicated the robed left forearm.

“If we were anywhere else the answer to that would be yes, he’d know in an instant that I had performed it, but we’re in Hogwarts and the charms and spells surrounding the castle are just as powerful. They only let in the Dark Lord’s summoning charm because Albus allows them to. Of course the Dark Lord believes the charm to slow down as it goes through the spells on the castle and so I cannot be blamed for arriving a few moments later than he wishes, which gives me enough time to warn Albus of my departure.” He looked quite amused as he spoke the last sentences, but there was deep worry etched across his face.

“Well then, what can I do to help?” Sirius asked, wiping the drying lines of tears from his face.

“Just stay over there,” he pointed to a far corner of the room, several metres away from himself. “And no matter what happens don’t come over here until the spell is finished.” He looked deadly serious now and Sirius wondered just what was going to happen if Snape felt he had to order him not to come near.

When he was in his position in the corner he watched as Severus raised his hands above his head, his wand remaining in his robe pocket. At the first hisses that came from the wizard, Sirius felt a distinct drop in the temperature of the room, he shivered and watched as a great wind erupted from nowhere and surrounded Snape.

His hair and robes flew around him but the hissing didn’t stop and soon the wind grew stronger, spreading across the room. Sirius felt it whip against him at the same time as he saw it pick up the first books from the shelves. Soon, books, parchment, quills and every other small object in the room were swirling around the hissing man.

And then it stopped.

The wind died and the objects floated to the floor with an unbelievable slowness. He made a move towards Snape when the hissing began again freezing him in place. Just how much of this spell was there?

No winds rose this time but Severus became surrounded by a strange silver glow, starting from his head and ending at his boots. It moved closer to him until it was touching his skin and clothes.

On the visible skin, the silver began to diffuse itself into Snape, disappearing into the pale flesh. He was so entranced by the mixing of magic and skin that he didn’t see the agony that washed over Severus’s face, but he heard it in the anguished cry that escaped him as the hissing ceased and the last trace of silver disappeared.

Finally able to move again he ran across to the centre of the room to the panting man and enveloped him, his arms encircling Severus’s waist from behind and to his surprise, Severus leant back into him. He rested his chin on Snape’s shoulder and they stood that way until Severus’s breathing was even again and Sirius found himself beginning to fall asleep on his feet.

He was jarred awake when Snape stepped out of the embrace and turned to face him. There didn’t appear to be anything different about him at first, but then Snape raised his hands up to cover his face and he saw straight through them to Snape’s smirking face behind. He had obviously been predicting Sirius’s reaction because when he lowered his hands his smirk grew.

“I think by the look on your face, I can conclude that it was successful.” He didn’t sound tired, as Sirius had expected, and all he could do was nod in response, his own exhaustion creeping upon him again.

Severus noticed the lines of fatigue on Sirius’s face, and although the spell had left him refreshed and with more energy than he could ever remember having since joining the Death Eater ranks, he felt that some sleep wouldn’t be a bad idea, he wouldn’t be getting any for sometime in the near future so he’d enjoy it while he could.

Sirius appeared to be having similar thoughts as he had moved away from Severus and was heading for the door with slow, sluggish movements, even though it was barely 11 o’clock.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He asked, thankful that the man stopped and turned around at the question.

“I’m going to bed. Unless there is something else you need my help with.” He seemed reluctant to add that.

“You can’t walk through the dungeons like that. I told you before that the Slytherins are looking to kill you, and many of them have nothing to lose now if they do, expulsion won’t bother them; they’ll be leaving soon enough anyway.” He didn’t need to explain why. “Besides, wandering around the castle like that you’d be easy prey for a Hufflepuff.” He smiled inwardly when he realised that, though he was listening, Sirius had begun to fall asleep on his feet again.

Abandoning words, Severus walked over to him and cautiously taking his hand he supported Sirius’s weight against himself and led him through a door into his bedroom. Had Sirius been awake enough to notice he would have been just as shocked by the interior of this room as he had been of the living room.

As it was, he didn’t see the mahogany wardrobes and draws, or the warm, welcoming air the room had regardless of the bare stone walls and barely covered stone floors. He did notice, however, how soft the bed was as he fell on it, his skin still tingling from the feel of Snape removing his outer robes, shirt and trousers, leaving him in only his boxers. He also noticed the bed dip slightly as Snape slid in between the covers beside him.

Throwing caution to the wind and blaming his wariness for the action he turned on his side and slid himself across the bed until his back came in contact with Snape’s chest. Even in his almost unconscious state he felt the electricity shoot through him, and Severus’s muscles ripple against him.

Sirius was almost asleep when he felt the Potions master finally relax against him, wrapping one arm possessively across his waist and lazily stroking his hair with the other. He drifted off to sleep like that, pressed comfortably against Severus’s warm body.

* * *

 

Severus woke hours later with a sharp intake of breath. Pain lanced up his arm at regular intervals and immense fear gripped him. He couldn’t remember how many times this had happened.

Being summoned in the night was a very common affair but this time it was different. This time when he returned it would be to fight and he wouldn’t be able to shed his Death Eater attire straight away.

This time he would be stepping out into the known and returning to the unknown; the complete opposite to all other times and he didn’t like it.

He always went to the meetings knowing it could be the one where his espionage was revealed and he’d be tortured and killed, it was one of the risks of his job, and he would always know that whatever happened he was endangering no one but himself. So the Order would lose their spy; there’d be others when they realised that it was possible to change sides.

But this time he would be returning, that was certain but as something he had never truly been. Whether he would ever enter into the dungeons again, curl up in one of his chairs to read, or brew potions in his private labs, that was more uncertain and unlikely than it had ever been before.

And what of laying in his bed with Sirius again. Yes, he may be returning as a Death Eater, but would he ever have the chance to return to Hogwarts as Severus Snape?

A more powerful surge of pain broke him from his thoughts and he released a soft growl, intentionally keeping the sound low so as not to wake the sleeping man in his arms. Sirius needed the sleep he was currently getting if he was to survive the fight, and that was what Severus intended to ensure.

He wouldn’t allow them to be lost.

He’d blow his cover without hesitation if it would save the lives of his students, colleagues and those he cared about.

They had all been training, the last days especially hard, and though they were on the defensive, it had not stopped them from brushing up on their attack. He knew without a doubt that after all that training every student in the 5th through 7th years would be able to pass their NEWT in Defence Against the Dark Arts with no trouble, but he worried about the practical use of their knowledge.

He shook himself from his thoughts, he had enough to worry about, the other Professors would be worrying enough about the children, he needed to concentrate on unentangling himself from Sirius, informing Albus that the time had come and getting to the meeting before the Dark Lord’s anger grew too much, he needed to be at his peak condition if he had any hope of ever again feeling the peace he had felt for the last few hours.

He shifted smoothly out of the bed from behind Sirius, who shifted slightly in sleep, but a carefully positioned cushion kept him from discovering Severus’s absence. He dressed in his black Death Eater robes, and stuffed the mask into his pocket. His eyes never left the sleeping figure in his bed and when he realised that it was time for him to leave he moved closer to the bed and placed a gentle kiss on Sirius’s forehead. Sirius attempted to awaken but Snape’s whispers calmed him once more into a deep sleep.

“Sleep now, I’ll not be far away as long as you are here.”

And then he swept silently from the room. Walking over to his desk he was glad the Dark Lord’s attentions where divided tonight for the pain in his arm would be unbearable now if not. He placed a quill and parchment on the desk and with a flick of his wand and a mouthed incantation the quill rose above the parchment, hovering, ready for the command.  
Snape took one final look around his rooms and then headed towards the door. From the other side of the door he carefully replaced and added to the wards around the portrait entrance, they would allow no one but Sirius and Albus entrance and exit until he himself removed them, or his death did the job for him. With a hiss good luck from the snake and a few extra instructions he was on his way to the Headmaster’s office for what he hoped was not the last time.  
He stopped only once on his journey to look into the Slytherin dormitories. He was saddened by the number of empty beds, but it was relieved somewhat by the more than 2 thirds of the beds that were still occupied.

These Slytherins had seen the lies behind the Dark Lord’s words, they had seen the flaws and these students he had been able to help know how to look. Many wouldn’t believe it, but he truly cared for the students. They saw the favouritism for Slytherin, but they didn’t expect him to show any true feelings for any of them. In truth he did favour the Slytherins, not because they were his own house, but because no one else would. He victimised the Gryffindors for similar reasons, no one else did.

There had to be someone to balance the scales after all.

Leaving the common room and taking the stairs up to the Entrance Hall he cleared his mind of all but the parchment and quill sitting upon his desk. He spoke the activation and allowed his mind to say all the things he might never get to say aloud.

* * *

 

In the dungeons below him, the quill scratched its owner’s letter in an imitation of his elegant script, oblivious to the soft snores of the letter’s intended recipient coming from the next room.


	5. Chapter 5

Sirius woke to the sounds of a house elf sweeping the fireplace. His mind still hazy from sleep he snuggled closer to the firm body behind him. But it wasn’t firm anymore, he thought with alarm.

Being wide awake now he swung himself around and found only a pillow beside him. He stared at it for a while believing that it must have been a dream and that after their talk the night before and the spell he must have left and wandered back to his room.

But this wasn’t his bed, and he would usually have light streaming through the window onto him by the time the house elves arrived. He thought then that perhaps he had slept in one of Albus’s rooms, or stumbled into a bed in one of the other guest chambers, but then he took a deep breath and froze.

He could smell Severus. Not the smell of potions that usually followed the Professor around, but the essence of Snape Sirius had smelt when his head had been tucked against Severus’s chest while he’d cried.

The breath he had inhaled left him swiftly as he realised the implications of being in Severus’s bed alone. Everything that he had heard Snape say since his release flew through his mind filling him with fear.

‘_He’s not calling me now, but he will soon ... we cannot risk waiting until tomorrow.’_

‘_The Dark Lord will summon me away exactly 2 days before the attack is scheduled.’_

‘_He wants all the Death Eaters with him for the attack.’_

‘_Sleep now, I’ll not be far away as long as you are here.’_

He was gone. It was the only explanation. He spent no more than a few seconds pulling his clothes on and then rushed out into the Living room.

His hope of finding Severus curled up with a book in one of the chairs was short lived upon finding the room empty of all life but him and the house elf. He pulled open each door he came across looking into the rooms only long enough to see that Snape wasn’t there. Having checked all the rooms his fear now had a solid foundation.

Trying to will away the desperation he felt, Sirius ran from Snape’s chambers and after transforming into his dog form he sprinted to the Headmaster’s office, knowing that Snape would either be there or Albus would at least know where he was, although in his heart Sirius knew that it had begun.

In his haste he never saw the letter that leant against an empty potion’s bottle. The green ink on the envelope glistening as it dried.

* * *

 

Albus’s door burst open and hit the wall with a resounding bang. He looked up from the letters he was currently ordering away with his wand. Each was blank save for a doodle of a phoenix feather in red ink. It was the sign that everyone was waiting anxiously for and the time had come to send them. Every time one was found by the correct wizard or witch a tick would appear beside the correct name on the list he held in one hand.

At first he saw no one at his door and grew suspicious until he caught sight of fur and what quickly took the shape of a man.

“Sirius...” He could say no more as the younger wizard’s eyes moved from his own to the parchments that were still disappearing and then back again and he spoke in barely a whisper.

“He’s gone.” There was no need to ask who ‘he’ was. Albus didn’t know the extent of the relationship between the animagus and his Potions Master, but from the matching look of pain both wizards had come into his office with, he figured he could come up with a pretty accurate guess, and had he not discovered it under such a dire situation he wouldn’t have been happier, but now the two men had been separated so soon after breaking through years of hatred and even he didn’t know if they would all live to see them together again.

“Yes, he has. It has begun as we knew it would.” He stopped speaking and waited for the younger man to take a seat before continuing in a far gentler tone.

“He is doing what he has to do Sirius, as must the rest of us. We knew this would happen, and though it is a few days earlier than we expected it does not come as a surprise. We will be ready for Voldemort’s attack tomorrow night. Severus’s information will enable us to win this Sirius. Without it we would never have known of the attack until it was too late.” He paused again at a barely perceptible nod and then Sirius sat up a little straighter and looked him in the eye.

When he spoke again his voice was more business-like “Now Severus left with me a list of Slytherins who have come to him throughout the year not wanting to follow their friends or family into Voldemort’s ranks. As you know the Slytherin’s have had little extra training in defence and duelling. While all other houses were given it but the reasoning behind it being simply in preparation of an attack that everyone knew was going to come at some time in the future, even with Severus’s information I was reluctant to train the Slytherins, fearing I would just be preparing Voldemort’s army, but upon seeing this list and checking on those remaining here after the summoning last night I feel I have greatly misjudged the situation. I wanted to train these students myself after knowing my mistake, but Severus was adamant that you be the one to help them, they need to know that they are trusted and he said that you had a knack for just that.” His eyes twinkled again for a moment and Sirius’s lips quirked upward, determination dominating his features.

“Thank you Albus.”

“Do not thank me, child, save your thanks for when he comes home.” Sirius nodded at the old wizard and then left the office, his fear not lessened but having something else to concentrate on. He figured that had been Severus’s goal all along, even when he wasn’t in the castle he could manipulate them.

His fear began turning into anger then as he thought about the way Severus had left. He couldn’t believe that he would just sneak off in the night. He hadn’t needed any romantic declarations or wanted any tear-filled goodbyes but it would have been nice if he had been told.

There wasn’t anything left for Sirius there, but he found himself heading for the dungeons, it was still too early to meet with the Slytherins so he continued on to Snape’s chambers. It wasn’t until the portrait swung wide open at his approach that he actually considered how he thought he was going to get in, because even if he had known the password he wouldn’t have been able to say it. It seemed that Snape had seen to that problem as well.

He entered the rooms; they felt so much emptier now, still not cold, just empty, devoid of life. He mentally shook himself; that had to be the first time anyone thought that Snape brought life to a room. Wanting once again to curl up as a dog and hide away in the corner, Sirius moved towards the room he had discovered to be Snape’s study when he had been searching for him earlier.

Slipping through the door he saw only a desk and chair and a single bookcase, these too matching the mahogany of the previous rooms. The bookcase contained the school text books for potions, as well as copies of the reference books the library held on the subject. The desktop was clear of all but a single letter and the bottle it leant against. Moving around the desk he sat himself in the chair and leant back, folding his hands in his lap in the way he had seen Snape do on several occasions.

Whilst practicing a sweeping gaze that he intended to use against the Slytherins he caught sight of the name upon the scroll’s envelope. His heart began to pound and he forced his hands to stop shaking as he opened the letter.  
So Snape hadn’t left without saying something to him, well at least not without writing something to him. As he read, his emotions shifted through happiness, fear, sadness and what he could only describe as developing love. It was as if he could hear Severus’s voice speaking the letter to him.

_Sirius,_

_to start _**Dear Black**_ sounds so cold and _**Dear Sirius**_ so formal and the reasons for this letter are anything but either of those. I must apologise now for I do not know on what path this letter will go. As I think the words on my way to Albus’s office an enchanted quill is recording each one on the parchment you see before you, in the room you will be now sitting in, but as I construct this you are oblivious to it all and that is how it should be. I know that you will have felt me cruel to leave without word or note, and as you read this you will know you were wrong, but it does not matter, I knew it would take sometime for you to find this, a fact of which I was counting on for should you see this before I leave the grounds I fear you would come after me and this goodbye I could not do in person. _

_I have always prided myself on the tight control I have on my emotions. I rarely show anything I do not wish to, but as I watched you sleep just moments ago I fear my emotions would have been as clear to read as this letter. Right now, as I begin the steps that will change everything for so many people, I find myself wishing for the first time that I had declined to play Spy a second time. Even the torture sessions never had me regretting my actions as I had nothing to come back to, but now I wish I did not have to leave at all thereby never having to return to find that once again there is nothing waiting for me. I can see so many times, returning from a meeting where the Dark Lord was angry over some imagined failure, my body aching in places I didn’t know I had, to find one empty room after another...It would seem that my mind has slipped and I fear that the words will present themselves before you. _

_Oh how I do hate writing straight from the mind, but I have neither the time nor the suicidal wish to write this by my own hand. As to what slipped unwelcome into this letter, I do not wish you to pity me. I offered to take the role of spy and I find that the results by far out weigh the problems I encounter. I do not regret my choice, only that it has come to this a second time. My information, I am told frequently by Albus, has helped to save many who would be lost to us. But even with this knowledge I wish that I had had more time before I was called away from you. There is so much unspoken between us, and yet we have already come so far from the spiteful words we once shared. That seems like another time entirely now, the last few days seeming to span forever behind us, and yet still being too short. I have reached the gargoyle now, _Snapping Sherbet_, where ever does the old wizard come up with such ridiculus passwords? I suppose now my time is up. I have still not said everything I would like, but then it will give me something to do when I return. For now I must, if not only to complete these words. _

_I am not one to beg for anything, it is demeaning and my Slytherin pride will not allow it but I will beg of you this; _**stay alive**_. Do not run foolishly into something that will cause you harm. For without you waiting, I have little reason to return. _

_I am glad that I cannot see these words before me, for I worry that they are far too soppy than I originally desired, though I am certain that my words have kept the aristocratic style of my usual letters, for that I apologise, but if I do not control that one simple thing, who knows what else could fall through my control. I believe that I am doing something I haven’t done in a long time; rambling, but this is the only way I know how to diffuse all that I feel. I only hope that you have been able to read this far and that I have not scared you off. _

_I believe this is the goodbye I so wanted to avoid. So perhaps I will not say _goodbye_ but _until next we meet.

_I’ll not be far away as long as you are here._  
_Yours, in ways I can not yet grasp,_

_Severus Snape_  
_P.S. Look after my Slytherins._

 

He re-read the letter twice more, and then sat for what seemed like hours, staring blankly at the parchment in his hands. He didn’t cry. It wouldn’t solve anything, and he had no one here to comfort him. He swore then not to shed any more tears until Severus was once again cradling him in his arms. A bell tolled in his head announcing that breakfast was about to begin. He stood up and walked out of the rooms into the dungeon corridors, he would be back later but for now he had a job to do.

It was up to him to prepare the Slytherins in a way that would make Severus proud. He wasn’t sure that he would be able to win the trust of those students and then project that trust onto the other students in the rest of the school, but Severus had faith in him and that boosted his confidence. He would succeed, Snape needed him to.

* * *

Fading light found Snape in the dungeon laboratories of the Dark Lord’s current base. After the initial summoning the Dark Lord had ordered Severus to the dungeons to increase the stock of potions, both poisonous and healing. The Dark Lord didn’t intend to use them in the attack, but thinking that it was going to be nothing more than a massacre of children, he wanted these for when, as he put it, ‘he could move on to more interesting things.’ It was a shame, Severus thought, that all his time was spent on making true potions; brewing false potions was something he didn’t wish to risk, but neither did he want to spend hours working on complex potions that would never be used.

   
As he worked in the silent rooms, the only sound coming from the bubbling cauldrons, he allowed his mind to wander to the events of earlier that morning, safe in the knowledge that the wards he had placed around the room would alert him to the approach of anything larger than a flea.

He’d finished composing the note to Sirius only seconds before Albus’s bedroom door swung open. He hoped that Sirius had found it by now, as much as he had wanted it to be found after he’d left, he didn’t want Sirius to hate him for leaving without telling him. Besides, it would be a lot worse if the letter were found after the battle, especially if he was no longer there. There was a separate letter for that occasion, kept locked safe in Albus’s office, to be delivered only upon his own death. He hoped no one would read that one.

The old wizard had still been sleeping and Severus had felt a moment of guilt at waking him from the peaceful rest. Except it wasn’t peaceful and it seemed that even the eternally cheerful Albus Dumbledore had nightmares. Creeping silently to the old man’s side, Severus proceeded to whisper to him whilst gently shaking his shoulders. The next moment he found himself with a wand in his face and a very scary Albus on the end. He blinked in surprise before lifting his arms in surrender. A loud ‘lumos’ later and through the bright light he could see Albus’s features relax as realisation of who he was emerged.

“Severus.” He caught his breath then and relaxed back against the bed. He shot up again suddenly, and Severus remembered wondering if he was going to get a face full of wand again, but the Headmaster just turned to him, his expression hidden in the shadows. “It’s begun hasn’t it.” It wasn’t really a question, but he’d answered anyway.

“Yes, it has.” He walked out of the room when Albus rose and slipped on a robe. Waiting in the living room, he remembered thinking about whether he would be able to come back here for a cup of tea and one of those annoying lemon drops Albus loved so much. As if reading his mind, the Headmaster arrived in the room holding a small bag open in front of him.

“Lemon Drop Severus?” And he’d accepted, for the first time he’d accepted the offered sweet and he had to say that he could see why the old man loved them so much. With his mouth full of the sour confectionary he’d been unable to interrupt or comment on what Albus began saying to him, and so he had had to just stand there listening until he had finally left the castle, after an unusually emotional embrace, the Mark burning stronger with every passing minute, as each Death Eater arrived and the Dark Lord had fewer people to concentrate the summoning on.  
From the dungeons he couldn’t see any sunlight, with the absence of windows it was impossible to tell whether it was night or day, so he continued brewing his potions, imagining himself to be in his own dungeons brewing healing potions for Poppy, with Sirius waiting for him in his rooms, all the time Albus’s words echoed in his head.

“_I know this will be hard Severus, I make no illusions of knowing how hard. We will win this battle, that I know, but at what cost I do not. If there was a way for me to keep you out of the way I would, believe me when I say that. If it were possible I would remove everyone from the castle and fight Voldemort myself. But alas fate has given us this hand and it is how we play it that will decide the outcome of the game. There will be times during the fight that I know you will want to reveal yourself, but I ask you not to do so prematurely, you will know when the right time comes and I do not want you risking your life unnecessarily, not if there are other ways. You will be as important to us as Harry in this fight, and though I have been unable to provide you with the protection he will be given you must remember that your survival is desired as much as every wizard and witch that will fight with us. I know that you realise the dangers in this final mission and I will not insult you by pointing them out, I trust your judgement as I trust you and I wish you all the luck you will need. Just be sure to come home to us walking on your own legs. Goodnight Severus, Merlin’s speed.”_

* * *

The past day had gone like a whirlwind for Sirius.  
 

Amazingly the remaining Slytherins had accepted him with very little suspicion; apparently Severus had mentioned to them some time before that when the time came, a certain Gryffindor would see to it that they were taken care of. It also seemed that Severus had been giving each of them private training sessions of a similar sort to the rest of the school and so it had taken very little extra training to get them to the standards of the other students.

The whole school had been informed of the up coming battle and some of the plans that had been laid out for them. Those left were students and staff who had decided to align themselves against Voldemort and so there was no further need for the level of secrecy they had previously used. Ever observant, the Ravenclaws had been the first to put together what they were hearing about the summoning the night before, and the very obvious absence of their Potions Professor. This had quickly spread around the Great Hall, even as Albus continued with his speech. By the time it reached the Gryffindors; the Slytherins and, to Sirius’s surprise, Harry, Ron and Hermione looked ready to hex everyone into silence. They were saved by the Headmaster’s bellow of silence and the consequent accurate, albeit edited, report on Severus’s espionage. By the time everyone had started to leave the hall no one’s view of their most hated Professor was the same.

The rest of the day had contained continuous training for the students, and more talk of the plans for the staff. By the evening all the staff waited in the Great Hall, all the children having been sent to their common rooms early under strict instructions to drink the sleeping draught that had suddenly appeared by their beds.

At exactly half past five, the doors of the hall were thrown open and the Order members strode through, following them were the families of the students who had been contacted and were willing to fight with them, bringing up the rear of the massive group were all the other witches and wizards that had received the expected parchment. They had been a large group indeed, filling the Great Hall so that no one could move, the same occurring in the Entrance Hall and even up several staircases.

That night new wards were placed around the castle. The ones Dumbledore had modified to allow in the Dark Lord’s summoning charm were removed and replaced with charms that would keep out the most powerful of curses. Every existing ward was strengthened and so many more were added that Sirius wondered if the castle didn’t glow in the dark. Entrance by owls was blocked, every student having already being instructed not to use their owls for letters in the past few days. With the Olwery sealed shut, the fireplaces removed from even the internal floo network and the anti apparation barriers now spanning to cover the forbidden forest, it would be impossible for Voldemort to enter the Castle.

With so many witches and wizards having contributed to the warding it would take all of them losing their lives before the wards would fall on their own.

All the staff had retired to their Houses or chambers then, all but Albus who was repeating the plans once again to the new arrivals.

Sirius had gone first to check on the Slytherins, glad to find that no one remained in the common room and one glance into each dormitory revealed empty vials and sleeping students. Then instead of heading to his own chambers he had retreated further into the dungeons and into Severus’s rooms.

Even now, as he lay in Severus’s bed, he told himself it was only because these rooms were closer and he wouldn’t have made it to his own rooms. But at the same time the warmth that enveloped him, and the feeling of comfort that came from knowing he was closer to Severus here told him the truth of his actions.

As he curled up beneath the covers he was hit with a wave of loneliness. It crept upon him and came to rest heavily in his heart. He’d only been with the man for a few days, only spent one night in his bed, after spending years apart from anyone one else, but now he felt alone, and he didn’t like the feeling. He knew the chance of Severus’s return, he knew that he would most likely not return to them alive, but although he had spent days thinking about it and crying when it became too much, it was only now that the words truly sunk in. He might not return!  
He didn’t want to cry, he wanted to keep his Gryffindor hope but the water flowed rivers down his cheeks. He realised then that he was beginning to love Severus and knew that when, no if, he didn’t return he wouldn’t be able to face the loneliness this time. It had been different before, he hadn’t known anything but loneliness, but now he did and he couldn’t go back to that again, not after having been happy, with someone.

Whoever said that it was better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all obviously hadn’t lost anyone.

Resigning himself to the sobs that threatened to break free, he buried hid head into Severus’s pillow, his body wracked with every cry, he remembered the last time he had cried, held tightly in Severus’s arms, and it made him cry harder, knowing that this time there would be no strong arms around him, no comforting words whispered silkily in his ear.

Finally his cries stopped and his breathing evened, having no more tears to cry, taking deep breaths he inhaled the scent of the pillow and felt his body instantly relax at the familiar smell. Bringing the wet pillow out from under his head, he turned onto his side, holding the pillow close to his chest, his nose and mouth still buried in it, breathing in the man he was beginning to love.

With his emotionally weakened state, just the scent of Severus was comforting enough, and he felt some of the hope return. From this angle he could see the letter on the bedside cabinet, the written words swam around his head and he fell into a peaceful sleep, a small smile on his lips.

‘_I’ll not be far as long as you are here.’_

__

* * *

He apparated to land directly in front of the Dark Lord, immediately dropping to his knees he dipped low until his nose grazed the cold floor. He hated kneeling almost as much as he hated the man he was currently kneeling before. Well he couldn’t really call him a man; monster was a far more accurate description.

He felt his chin being pulled upwards by an invisible hand and forced all thoughts out of his mind and instead filled it with nothing but what was happening at the present moment. As the Dark Lord’s eyes burnt into him, he called on all his skills in Occulmancy and forced false emotions and memories into his mind, keeping the Dark Lord busy and hiding all thoughts of Sirius behind an Unnoticeable wall.

He fought hard against the intrusion but was careful not to force the presence out; it wouldn’t do to make the Dark Lord think he had something to hide. Finally he felt the other presence fade and was left alone within his own mind. Snapping himself back to reality he continued to look the Dark Lord in the eyes, his features belaying nothing of what he felt, his face a cold mask.

Finally, just as his legs burned with pain from his kneeling position, his chin was released and his gaze slipped to the floor as he gracefully raised himself from it. Slipping back into the circle of Death Eaters he realised that the time had come.

The Dark Lord would relay his plans for the battle to all his followers before taking himself and Malfoy away separately to discuss their important roles in it. As ready as he felt, he wished it wasn’t to happen so soon.  
Hearing the Dark Lord describe his strategy for ‘scaring the Muggle Loving Fool Dumbledore’ and knowing that what would greet them wouldn’t be petrified first years, the upcoming fight had never felt so real as it did then, and for the first time in many years Severus was scared that he might not come through it alive, whether it be because of a well-placed curse or the death of someone close. He wouldn’t allow himself to think of who that someone was, but as he listened like the Loyal Death Eater he pretended to be, the name _Sirius_ floated unbidden into his mind.

* * *

He supposed it shouldn’t surprise him that Harry would come to see him early in the morning of the final battle; he thought as he stared at his ruffled Godson trying to clear the fuzziness in his head, what did surprise him was that Harry knew where he would be. Upon asking just that he was met with a shrug and small smile.  
 

“You were worried all day about someone that wasn’t at the training, I could see it in your eyes, and it didn’t take ‘Mione long to figure out who it was. When I couldn’t find you in your quarters this morning I figured this was where you’d be, it just seemed like the right place. I think the real question is why are you down here?” Even as he answered, Sirius knew that Harry already knew why.

“You’re right; I was worried about Sev...Professor Snape. He did a lot to help me out and we were finally getting past some of the anger we’ve been carrying around for years when he was called and now I don’t know if I’ll even see him again. I know I should be worrying about the students, especially you and I feel so guilty that all my attention isn’t on you, but you have so many people looking out for all of you and I can’t help thinking that he has no one. I know he’s been going to these meetings for years, but what if this time Voldemort finds out what he’s been doing, we wouldn’t even know until tonight either when Voldemort doesn’t show up or Severus doesn’t.” He paused as his emotions overtook him and Harry wrapped his arms around his Godfather.

“They won’t find out. You’re right, Professor Snape has been doing this for years and he hasn’t been found out yet. He isn’t a stupid man Siri, he wouldn’t do anything that he thinks could jeopardise the battle and that includes doing something to let himself be revealed.” He reassured the older man.

Though the words were reassuring, Sirius couldn’t let go of the fear.

“You don't know what he was like Harry.” His mind whirled back to the Order meeting a few nights back. “At the last Order meeting he kept insisting that he wouldn’t fight against us, that he was going to try to delay Voldemort when they apparate in to try to buy us some time. He knew that doing that would mean almost certain death but he still suggested it. You’re right that he would do anything to ensure that this battle goes the way we want it, but what if that comes at the cost of his own life? He’s already mentioned plans that would get him killed in the past, what makes it any different now?” He finished dejectedly, the fear and longing clear in his voice. He hadn’t expected an answer, but the one he got allowed a little more hope to slip into his heart.

“I think that this time he’s got something to come back for.” He paused, watching Sirius closely. “A reason to stay alive.”

Sirius smiled suddenly and pulled the boy into a tight embrace.

“When did you become so wise, Professor Potter?” He teased.

“When did you start sleeping in Snape’s rooms, Mr Black?” And he raised an eyebrow that reminded Sirius very much of the pale Professor.

* * *

Breakfast had seemed to go on forever, and after almost an hour of talking, the old wizard still didn’t show any signs of his speech coming to an end anytime soon.

   
Taking in the entire hall, he knew why Snape liked this seat so much; he was able to take in a view of everyone in the hall in one sweeping gaze. Right now he could see several Hufflepuffs holding hands and offering each other comfort, a group of Ravenclaws discussing what looked like the battle plans, trying to conceal their conversation behind pieces of long cold toast, The remaining Slytherins kept sending glances his way, some pleading and sneering at the Headmaster’s expense, others he felt sure continued to expect to see their Head of House seated where Sirius was, but it was the Gryffindors that gave the Animagus the most laughs.

One end of the table had fallen asleep half an hour after Albus had begun to speak, the other half were well on their way to following in their housemates footsteps as it was with great force of will that their eyes drooped only momentarily, although for Ron and Harry, it was Hermione’s elbow poking them in the ribs that was keeping them awake. It wasn’t a very different story for the staff either.

Though they were all still awake no one’s attention remained on the Headmaster. Many looked out of the windows, or had their eyes raised to the enchanted ceiling.

The visitors and guests of the castle were having their own breakfast in separate rooms as there just wasn’t enough room for them all, and magically expanding the room would have drawn unwanted attention to the school, in the form of Voldemort. Unfortunately they hadn’t been spared the talk either, as Albus had charmed his voice into each of their rooms, but Sirius reasoned that at least those witches and wizards were able to play music over him, or at least do something else while he droned on.

It was very unlike Dumbledore to give a speech that didn’t captivate its audience, but whether it was high strung nerves on either side the result was not likeable. Thankfully they would be starting on the final preparations for the evenings ‘activities’ pretty soon, so the old man would have to stop at some point in the near future.  
It took several minutes for the occupants of the hall to realise that Dumbledore had finished and not knowing what had been said last they were unsure of what to do. With a greatly exaggerated sigh Dumbledore repeated the plans for the day, having known already that he had been talking largely to himself for the best part of the hour.

He looked over to the small group of Gryffindors as everyone left the hall. He knew the tension was highest for the ‘golden trio’ and Sirius. They were the ones with the most resting on their shoulders and therefore the most to lose.

As he watched them embrace in a group hug his mind drifted to the wizard far away from them, and suddenly he could almost see the black clad figure in amongst the huddled group and it was at that moment of seer like quality that he knew his Potions Professor would return to him, he rarely had visions after all, and those he had had, had always turned out right.

His spirits a little higher and his steps a little lighter he exited the hall and made his way to his office; even with a looming battle, the school didn’t run itself.


	6. Chapter 6

“Tell me Severus; have you any luck with ‘persuading’ your pet criminal to see things our way?” Severus bristled at the comment, but forced himself to relax, he was too close to lose it all now.

“I can say with absolute certainty that by the end of the attack tonight, Black will be fighting alongside me.” He always found that merely twisting the truth was far easier than trying to convince the dark wizard of a complete lie. It worked well under Verseritium as well, but he wasn’t going to tell the Ministry fools that.

“Very good. Now that you both know what I want of you, you have the remainder of the day to strategise.” Taking that as his cue to leave, Severus knelt once more in front of the Dark Lord, before rising and leaving the study through the heavy oak doors, Lucius not far behind him.

“I trust you’ll have no conflict fighting your colleagues.”

He didn’t turn at Lucius’s drawl, but allowed a smug smirk to cover his face, if only he knew.

“And I trust that you will not once again be questioning my loyalties Lucius. I’m sure you still remember the last time you presented our Lord with your ideas.” It took him immense self control and hard years of successful espionage not to spit out ‘our Lord’. He felt the fair wizard stiffen and fall silent behind him.  
He remembered that meeting very well himself. He had allowed himself a moment of inner panic when Lucius had brought his claims to the Dark Lord. Expecting the worst Severus had met his gaze with determination, his shoulders never dropping, his head held high and the sneer never falling from his face.

He’d felt the Dark Lord probe into his mind like all the times before, but to his utter astonishment it hadn’t searched through his memories, or pushed against his hidden walls but instead he had seemed to be simply looking for something to disprove the claims of Malfoy once and for all. It hadn’t taken much for that to happen; on image of yelling at Potter in front of a class of sniggering Slytherins and another, this time falsely constructed, showing him directing a look of pure hatred towards the back of Albus’s robes and the Dark Lord had pulled out of his mind, shot an approving look at Severus and then proceeded to fire the Cruciatus curse at Lucius all within seconds, making no sound and grinning like the sadistic monster he was when Lucius had become overwhelmed with pain and begun to scream.

Even after Lucius had almost revealed him he couldn’t help feeling sorry for the wizard, well slightly sympathetic anyway.

He was brought back to the present as they entered another study. Taking a seat one on side of the desk he waited patiently for the other man to take the seat on the other side. Now they would discuss their battle plans, and then almost too soon the battle would begin.

With one last thought of Hogwarts and the animagus he hoped would still be waiting for him there, he turned his attention fully to the notes and sketches laid out before him, recognising immediately the younger Malfoy’s neat script; it seemed that even something as important as these plans were beneath Lucius.

* * *

By 9 o’clock, the students were all dressed in either protected duelling robes or in the cases of the muggle-born children, hidden armour, also coated in strong protection charms. They had all of course been given the opportunity to wear robes, but the Professors had found that quite a few of them had felt most comfortable in the armour of their muggle ancestors.

   
The Professors themselves were each wearing heavy robes; though these were traditionally black it had been decided that there would be too many black-clad figures on the grounds, so they had chosen a light grey, while the Heads of House had transfigured their robes the colours of their houses, with Sirius taking green in place of the Potions Master.

When he first arrived at the hall wearing that colour he was shocked to be greeted with a teary-eyed Molly Weasley. His blood ran cold at the sight, terror gripping him as his mind conjured images of a dead Severus, and injured Weasley children. His fear left him to be replaced by sadness at the bitter sweet words of truth she spoke.

“Severus would still have worn black.”

* * *

Severus was anxious.

   
Had he been from any other house he probably would have been nervous and scared, but Slytherins never felt fear, even in the face of imminent death or prolonged torture a true Slytherin would stand, back straight and chin raised in defiance, their face impassive, their eyes glinting with a dangerous light that told that it wasn’t over.

So it was with great effort that he managed to contain the disgusted sneer that tried to take over his features as he watched fully trained Slytherin wizards beg for their Master’s forgiveness, for a mercy that didn’t exist, and neither a wand nor hand had been raised yet.

It sickened him to think that these men had once belonged to his house; he pictured Salazar writhing in his grave every time one of his chosen students knelt in submission before the red-eyed monster. Years in the Dark Lord’s service had vanquished the cunning they were notorious for, mindlessly following the Dark Lord’s every word had removed the intelligence that rivalled a Ravenclaw's, they were no better than the muggle’s sheep; agreeing blindly and without any thought to the consequences; they had become as heedless as Gryffindors.

And what made it worse to Severus’s mind was that he had to be part of that. He had to degrade himself to the life of a servant for the only chance to defeat the Master, to free those that had had the strength to resist.  
It took the heir of one of the darkest families, an old wizard, and a 16 year old boy to defeat the most powerful dark wizard on Earth.

A lesser Slytherin would have laughed.

* * *

The students had taken their planned positions with an ease that made the heart of every adult present heavy.  
 

They shouldn’t have to fight in a battle that should have ended before they were born.

The first years from every house were in the highest rooms in the castle, small groups of students in rooms spanning every side of the castle, they were the lookouts, and every house was working together, their mutual desire to keep the castle and its inhabitants safe the only catalyst they needed to reach a trust that had taken too many years to achieve. The second and third years had helped Madam Pomfrey to set up hospital areas in different parts of the castle and were all determined to guard these wings from any threat.

It had been decided after hours of arguing, that while as many people as possible were needed, even with the training these children had had, the fact still remained that they were children, barely older than they had been when they started and there was little they could do by going out to meet Voldemort on the battlefield, and so they would wait, hidden from view, daring any of the Death Eaters to attempt to make their way into the castle.

The fourth years had volunteered to watch the younger children in the castle. Knowing that Hogsmeade would be in great danger once the battle began, Albus had opened his doors to its residents, offering shelter and asking nothing in return. That alone had garnered the support of the witches and wizards and they had stated immediately that they would fight alongside him, but pleaded that their children be shielded as best they could.

Hearing this, the fourth years had gathered together and argued between themselves, it wasn’t house against house, but while some had been determined to fight they realised that they would be needed more inside the castle than in the field. Taking control they had gone to the Headmaster as a united front and asked to be the ones to guard the children. He had instantly agreed happy to know that a few more students would be spared some of the horror to come, and the students had taking the children to the lowest part of the castle; the Slytherin common room, there they had transfigured chairs into beds and stood united to ward the entrance.

They would do anything to protect those younger then them, and they were prepared to do just that.

The fifth through to seventh years had separated into small groups, houses mixed without argument or suspicion, each team led by either a teacher or Order member.

They stood in the Great Hall, the Entrance Hall, corridors and on staircases that, as if recognising the sombre atmosphere of the school, were keeping still, waiting. Night had long fallen, and they knew it was only a matter of time before it would all begin. Reassurances were needed by both adults and students, and as the children dismissed house rivalry to comfort those that needed it, the teacher’s dropped their professional facades and could be found embracing students and other staff alike.

Sirius watched with a detached mind, Harry, Ron and Hermione were holding on to each other, and gradually more and more people moved to join the trio. Sirius felt a presence behind him, and lent into the werewolf, accepting the comfort he brought. They hadn’t spoken much in the two days, but words had never really been needed between them.

“It’ll be alright Siri, you’ll see.” Then pausing to look at his friend closely he sighed, he still couldn’t fully understand what Sirius had found in his one-time enemy, but he accepted that what ever it was, it was strong enough for the animagus to become sullen, as he had since the Slytherin’s departure. “You know he won’t let anything happen to the students, Harry especially, I watched Severus when I was working here, and for all his complaining he really does care for them, and he will do anything to ensure that no harm comes to them.”

Sirius merely sighed and slumped further. “That’s what I’m afraid of.” No more could be said as at that moment the image of a glowing phoenix appeared before them, the signal from the lookouts. Voldemort was here.  
It had begun.

* * *

They apparated to Hogsmeade, and Severus sent a silent prayer of thanks that it was empty, apparently none of his companions, and he used the term in the loosest possible way, were bothered by the absence of people in the town, and they proceeded to set alight any and all buildings they came across.  
 

Severus was glad that by leading this he didn’t have to participate, it was hard enough watching the beloved town burn to the ground, he couldn’t imagine having to aid in any way, but even as he thought it he knew that if he had had to he would have with only the shortest of delays, if it meant saving the lives of not only those within the schools walls, but the rest of the world.

He promised himself then that he would help to rebuild the town, his money and effort wouldn’t be better spent, assuming he lived to help, a pessimistic voice spoke in his head, but he silenced it with thoughts of Sirius waiting for him and moved to take control of the black figures around him. Masks covered their faces, but he had spent more time with them than he cared to, and he knew by posture and gait alone who each was.

“Crabbe, Goyle, leave the shop alone, we have more important things to achieve tonight than looting from Hunydukes.” He spoke silkily, his tone impatient, as though scolding a toddler.

“As for the rest of you, Our Lord will arrive soon and I will not have those under my command appear to be anything less than attentive.” There was no instruction, but every Death Eater moved from the burning rubble to stand in front of him, and he heard Lucius come to stand beside him.

“You never were one to enjoy yourself Severus, not to worry; there will be plenty of chances to have some fun once Potter and the idiot Dumbledore have fallen. With them out of the way there will be no stopping Our Lord and we will be finally rid of the Mudbloods and Muggles once and for all.” Even from beneath the mask that hid his face from view, Severus could see the malicious glint in his eyes.

It chilled him to realise just how much his once friend truly believed in the Dark Lord’s words. The Dark Lord had taken passionate, strong willed children, and twisted them into monsters. For that alone he deserved to die.  
He could say nothing in response to the blonde’s passionate speech or linger too long on the proud stance of the younger blonde as with a loud bang the Dark Lord appeared in the middle of the circle they had formed. Everyone present bowed down to the floor, then upon rising Severus and Lucius slipped backwards into their own places in the group.  
“The time has come to announce my return to the world. This will be only the first of many attacks, but I wish for you all to enjoy this moment as I will. Within the night both the brat Potter and the fool Dumbledore will be dead, and there will be no one left to fight me. We will cleanse the world of the filth Mudbloods have brought upon us, and be free to live without fear of discovery once the Muggles are dead. The world will be Ruled by Purebloods, Lived in by Purebloods and Owned by Purebloods.” There were cheers as he finished his speech, and Severus had to agree with one thing.

Tonight would definitely cleanse the world of Mudbloods, for there was only one who fit that description so well and he was hungrily devouring the strings of praises sent his way.

With a raise of his hands Hogsmeade fell silent.

“The time has come. Depart.” And they did, splitting into two groups, Lucius headed the first, and Severus the second, the Dark Lord took his place in front of them and led them up the path towards the front gates of Hogwarts. His steps were light, he had no concerns; there were only unprepared children waiting for him after all.

* * *

With a shower of green sparks, the gates disappeared and the school was free to enter. It had been decided that Lucius would lead his group to the left of the school, while Severus proceeded to the castle doors.

   
As he stepped across the thresh-hold of the school grounds he activated the spell that would save his life. With his face visible behind the white mask, to those on the right side, he headed across the dark grounds, feeling the Dark Lord’s presence beside him, and the eyes of the castle upon him.

The time had come, and he was ready.

* * *

It didn’t take long for them to leave the castle’s walls. Spreading themselves out they made a formidable force, standing in defence along the length of the school, but ready to attack those that came to threaten its safety. Adrenaline overtook fear at the sight of the green sparks, and everyone of the Light took one collective breath. They were hidden from sight by the shadows of the castle, but they saw as the Death Eaters became visible.

   
They watched in silence as the group split in two, one going off to the left while the other continued forward. With a barely perceptible nod from Albus, Sirius motioned to the other leaders around him, and they too broke into two groups, Sirius taking the lead and following the direction of the Death Eaters.

The others waited.

They knew the moment they were seen, the white masks shone eerily in the pale moonlight, and suddenly they turned as one to a figure to the side of them. But one remained in their direction, his face shone, but there was no mask, and the light that illuminated him wasn’t from the moon.

There were several gasps beside the headmaster as they began to recognise the Potions Master, but before they could make any move to show that recognition, the man shook his head once and then turned his head in the direction the others faced. It wasn’t hard to recognise who they were looking at, the blood red eyes glowed in the shadowed face.

They heard a cry of rage to the left, and then red sparks flew into the air. Sirius’s signal that the battle had began. The teachers knew that signal, and in perfect unison, they stepped forward, wands drawn and raised, pointing directly at each Death Eater, Dumbledore himself pointed his wand at Voldemort, while Minerva pointed hers at her colleague. She lent over to him to whisper in his ear.

“I think Severus’s spell worked better than we predicted.”

“Yes, I think even Severus underestimated his own power.” And it was true; no one had expected Severus to be seen so clearly in the night.

From what little they had been able to learn of the spell they had thought that it would merely reveal the Slytherin’s face to them, but his whole body glowed and he couldn’t be missed even from the distance they were at that moment, but the spell hadn’t gone wrong, as it appeared that none of the Death Eaters could see the white light, even Voldemort himself hadn’t noticed the power radiating from his servant.

Another small nod, and the teachers took another step forward, and the Order members, the adults of Hogsmeade, and the parents of the students that had joined the fight moved to fill their place.

One more step by them all and the students brought themselves out of the shadows. They were no longer hidden from view, and he took some joy in seeing Voldemort’s face contort in surprise before it turned to rage at having his plans ruined. Dumbledore stepped forward then, standing in front of his staff, friends and students. Ignoring the Death Eaters he spoke directly to the dark wizard.

“As you can see we are not as unprepared as you had hoped. We will defend this castle, and we will end this war here tonight, by what ever means we must. I will give you one chance to end this without shedding the blood of anyone here. Leave the grounds of this school and never return, leave the country and the world alone, and no charges will be brought towards you. It is your choice Tom.”

From the side of his eyes he saw Severus’s lips curl at the name, but he drew his attention back to Voldemort.  
He was chilled, but not surprised at the humourless laugh that echoed in the night.

“I will never turn tail and leave old man, but you are right, this war will end tonight, but it is not my blood that will be shed.”

“As you wish Tom, but do remember that I gave you the chance.” There was another laugh.

“Oh, I shall remember it well when I look down at your cold corpse.” Without effort he raised his wand to the sky and speaking low words, the Dark Mark appeared. It seemed that the Death Eaters had their own signals and this was one of them, for instantly curses were fired towards them. But they were more than ready for the attack, and while the students fired shields and counter curses, the full-grown witches and wizards threw their own attack. Voldemort easily avoided Albus’s hex, but the others didn’t fare so well.

Unprepared for the structure of the attack, many of the Death Eaters hadn’t expected the spells sent their way, and had little time to defend themselves. Jumping out of the way of the streams of light coming towards them, the Death Eaters were unconsciously closing the gap between the two sides.

Severus smirked as he expertly ducked Minerva’s spell and caught the matching expression she sent his way. Both sides broke rank, and the battle really began, spells shot from wands in every direction, and it wasn’t long before they had paired off in intense duels. Severus found himself facing a growling Moody; it had to be more than coincidence he thought, as he stepped out of the way of a stunning spell.

“Is that the best you have Moody?” He made sure his voice carried to those around him, he knew his voice was recognisable to anyone who knew him, and he knew that the other Death Eaters were aware of that too. Now it wouldn’t matter if anyone slipped and spoke his name during a duel, they would all know that he was there.  
“I always knew I was right about you Snape, the apple never does fall far from the tree after all.” He sent a winding hex towards the ex-Auror that was easily avoided.

“Trying to wound me with words Moody, I must say I am less than impressed by your style, and I had heard such stories of your actions during the first rising.” He didn’t catch the wizard’s next move, but he did see the green light coming towards the paranoid man, thinking fast he fired a spell at him, causing the wizard to step to the side and the killing curse missed Moody, just grazing the sleeve of his robe.

It was then that he noticed Moody’s spell coming towards him, he didn’t have time to counter it, so he threw himself to the side, the spell hit him across his shoulder and blood seeped from the rip in his robe. Severus allowed himself only seconds to think of the pain, before pushing it aside and straightening again, glad to see the back of Moody’s robes as he moved to attack a Death Eater across the grounds.

It wasn’t long before someone else moved in front of him, and to his surprise he found himself facing...  
“Longbottom!”

* * *

Sirius had led his group, matching the Death Eaters’ journey step for step. Suddenly the masked wizards had stopped, and the leader had turned towards where they stood, still hidden in shadows. They had listened as the man turned back to the other Death Eaters waiting for a signal, then the moon had moved from behind a cloud and some of the shadow disappeared revealing Sirius where he stood.

   
The Death Eaters saw him and their wands rose to point at him.

“Hold.” He’d recognise that voice anywhere.

“Malfoy.” He sneered in the same way he had seen Severus do on so many occasions.

“Black,” He sneered back, but there was amusement in his voice. “Severus said you would be here. Our Lord was very pleased to learn that his ‘pet criminal’ would be fighting with us soon, we just weren’t expecting you to join us so early on.”

He hadn’t known that Severus had been expected to draw him over to Voldemort’s side, but in hindsight he realised that of course Severus would have been punished for releasing him without telling _His Lord_ and knowing the Slytherin as he did this would be the perfect explanation, with only one flaw. It would never happen.

“I don’t care what Snape has told you Malfoy. Sure he released me, but even you must know how much I hate him, do you really think I would join any side he is on. Oh, I’m not here to help you Malfoy, I’m here to stop you.” He took sadistic pleasure in the horror and anger that he could sense coming from the blonde.

Even when Severus’s emotions were at their strongest, Sirius was hard pressed to sense them, even in his dog form, Severus had always been able to hid his emotions away, not only from everyone else, but from himself as well, the blonde was no comparison, no matter how cold and emotionless Malfoy acted he couldn’t hide what he truly felt any better than the average Gryffindor.

To his surprise instead of attacking him, Malfoy looked to the sky, and not finding whatever it was he was looking for he let out a rage filled cry. And Sirius took the time to fire up the warning flare for the others. When he fell silent again, they stood still glaring menacingly at each other, but neither made a move to attack. Then the talking had started and both men turned at the sound of their leaders’ voices.

“...remember that I gave you the chance.”

“Oh, I shall remember it well when I look down at your cold corpse.”

A green light had fallen upon the grounds, looking up both sides saw the Dark Mark hovering in the air above them. When Sirius looked back Malfoy’s wand was again pointed in his face, but he was no longer metres across the grounds, but standing just feet away from him. The steel eyes reflected the lights of the battle occurring next to them but Sirius met them with the arrogance Severus always accused him of possessing.

“It would seem Our Lord has decided it is time for us to have some fun and I will enjoy killing you Black.” His eyes glittered dangerously and the words were on the tip of his tongue.  
“Ad...”

“I don’t think you want to do that Malfoy.” Sirius smirked when the masked wizard took a hasty step back from the wand pointed in his face.

“Weasley.” The name didn’t come from the slowly retreating wizard, but from the slightly shorter one in the crowd.

“That’s right _Draco_.” The younger Malfoy bristled at the use of his name and broke rank to stand in front of Ron.

“Do you really think you and the mutt are any threat to the Dark Lord’s army, Weasel? We’ll kill the two of you before you have the chance to beg for your pathetic lives.”

“Ah, but it isn’t just the Weasel and the Mutt, as you put it Ferret.” Hermione moved to stand beside her friend, and the others emerged from behind them, each stepping into the light, students followed by adults.

“There’s more of us than you think Malfoy,” Ron continued, “and we don’t really like the idea of you or your father threatening one of our own.” He smiled sweetly at the short blonde, who stood still in shock and then suddenly, “Stupify!” And the former student fell frozen to the ground. “Always wanted to do that.” But Ron’s voice was drowned out by the second scream of rage that Lucius released as he launched himself at the Gryffindor.

He didn’t get far as a spell passed closely by his ear and he heard another of the Death Eaters fall behind him.  
Turning to face Sirius, he ripped off his mask and grinned ferally and again started the killing curse, but he cut himself off when Sirius disappeared and in his place stood a black dog, its fangs bared preparing to pounce. It took Malfoy only a second for his brain to understand what he saw, but it was enough time for Sirius and he threw himself at the other wizard bringing him to the floor in one attack, his wand falling from his hand. Another second and once again in he stood as a man, wand in hand staring down at Malfoy’s face.

“I would have loved to kill you now Malfoy, but Severus asked me not to do anything to endanger myself, and I won’t go to Azkaban again not for that, that is a privilege I will reserve just for you.” A second later and Malfoy was stunned and bound against a nearby tree. And Sirius turned back to the battle. The gap between the two groups had disappeared and they were now combining, Ron and Hermione joining the rest of the students as they fought the people they had shared lessons with.

It was then that he saw Severus.

He was pretty hard to miss, even in the flurry of battle. He hadn’t seen him since he’d left two days before, and he wanted nothing more than to run to him and forget all about the fights going on around them, but a curse flying passed his head wouldn’t let him forget the war and so he turned on the Death Eater responsible focusing himself solely on the duel.

* * *

“Hello Professor. For some reason I’m not surprised to see you here.” He grinned conspiratorially and then fired an expelliramius. Easily avoiding it, Severus moved closer to his student, and was surprised again when the boy didn’t step back.

   
“I see you’ve gained a backbone since I’ve been away Longbottom, shame it won’t last you long.” Seeing the ripple of doubt in the Gryffindor’s eyes, he decided what he needed to do. While the adults he had worked with knew not to take any of the comments he made to heart, the children did not, and Severus only now realised that although his face was hidden from the Death Eaters, and fully visible to the others, he hadn’t allowed his usual mask to fall.

It scared him to drop that mask, but seeing that fear beginning to form on Longbottom’s face he knew he had to do it if he wanted to keep the boy alive, he couldn’t afford for the usual fear the boy had for him, to return.  
So, he closed his eyes for the briefest of seconds before opening them again, the cold mask gone, leaving everything he felt free to be seen, not by his enemies, but by those that wouldn’t hurt him with the knowledge, but use it to help him. The boy apparently saw everything he needed there, because he smiled again and only determination could be seen on his features.

“Oh I don’t know Sir; I think we may have underestimated each other.” And then he fired another hex that Severus only just avoided with a rebound shield that fired the curse into the Death Eater beside him. Looking that way he saw Lupin give him a grateful smile before turning to help Seamus Finnigan.

Turning back he found that Longbottom had disappeared, but he caught a glimpse of the young man, he couldn’t call him a boy now, joining with Granger and Weasley to fight against both Crabbes.

Shooting a curse of his own in their direction, he turned quickly engaging Arthur Weasley in battle, a small smirk on his face when he heard the deep cry of shock behind him.

“Nice to see you again Severus.” Arthur said as he dodged and fired curses at the dark-haired wizard.

“The same to you Arthur.” And for the first time in a long time Severus gave a genuine smile.


	7. Chapter 7

After alerting the teachers to the presence of the Death Eaters, the first years had remained in position watching the battle begin. Those watching the front gates had seen the moment Professor Snape had activated his spell.

There had been nothing but black in sight, and then suddenly one of the figures had begun to glow with a bright white light. To say they were amazed when none of the figures on the ground took notice was an understatement, even knowing how magic worked, few of them could believe that the light couldn’t be seen, especially when they were so close to it.

“That must have been one hell of a powerful spell Snape used.” Thomas Everidge, a Hufflepuff, whispered.

“Well you must have heard the rumours surrounding Snape’s family; it wouldn’t surprise me if he wasn’t as powerful as Dumbledore.” Everidge just nodded at the voice, too busy watching Snape move across the grounds towards the castle to find out who had spoken, coming from a wizarding family, he had heard the rumours, but he hadn’t really believed them, until now.

“I haven’t heard any rumours. What’s wrong with Snape’s family?”

“Well you’re a muggle-born aren’t you? It’s no wonder you haven’t heard about them.” Everyone turned to look at the Slytherin as he spoke, expecting a sneering comment about the small girls parentage but when none came, Everidge smiled at the boy and then turned to the muggle-born witch.

“I don’t really remember everything they say about them Scouter, but my brother does, he’s one of the fourth years watching the kids downstairs. If we’re all finished here maybe we could go down there. I’m sure they could do with a hand anyway, can’t see there being much to do in the Slytherin common room.” The Slytherin boy turned at the mention of his common room.

“There’s nothing wrong with our common room, but you’re right, there isn’t anything there for kids, perhaps we should get the others, Dumbledore did say that as long as we stayed inside the castle we could go help anywhere once the battle began.”

They all nodded in agreement and separated to get the other groups together. Eventually all the first years stood in the Astronomy tower and after a quick role call determining that they were all there, they headed for the dungeons. The sounds of the battle going on outside the castle grew louder as the approached the Entrance Hall, and the students huddled close together, wands drawn, wincing at every scream and shout that reached their ears.

Hurrying much faster they almost ran down the dungeon steps. The group of fourth years standing outside the portrait entrance to the common room stiffened when he saw them approached. Pointing their wands at the first years they asked for the keywords that each student had been told and ordered to request if they met each other once the battle started.  
“What would Professor Snape say if I melted my cauldron?”

“Longbottom clear up that mess.” They said as one, small smiles reaching their lips. Longbottom had flushed with embarrassment when the Headmaster had suggested that particular password, but had soon started laughing with his friends, saying that just imagining Snape’s face if he found out about it was good enough incentive for him to allow it. Not that he really had much choice.

“So the battle’s begun. We thought so, but you can’t see anything down here, we could just hear it. How did it look when you left?” There was definitely fear in the older boy’s voice, but he was controlling it, he had to remain strong for those younger than him. When it was all over, then he would allow himself to quiver like a leaf.

“Snape’s spell worked. I think it may have worked a little better than they thought, he was glowing like a white Christmas tree.” Seeing the fear increase on the boys’ faces Everidge hastily added, “But its ok, the Death Eaters couldn’t see it. They split into two groups, Snape lead the first group to where Dumbledore was waiting, and the other group went over nearer the forbidden forest, but our lot separated too and they surprised them before they reached the forest. Then there was this pause where they all stopped and just stared at each other. Dumbledore and all the teachers moved forwards, and then all the others did the same until they were all standing in plain view. I don't know but I think Dumbledore might have been talking to You-Kn...to Voldemort but he just threw his head back, looked to me as if he was laughing, and then this green light shot out of his wand into the sky, and the Dark Mark appeared in the sky, that must have been some kind of signal, ‘cause when they saw it all the Death Eaters started firing spells, but our lot got them back, and then they started pairing off and duelling, nothing like we did in DADA though. That’s when we started talking about Snape and his family, but we don't know much of the rumours so we thought we’d come down here and see if any of you lot knew them, besides, we thought you could do with the help.”

“Sure could.” One of the other fourth years spoke up.

“Any of you mind standing out here with us, the more people out here the better.”

Everidge looked at the Slytherin he’d been talking to earlier.

“What d’ya say Hartnett; think we could defend these poor helpless students?”

“Yes well it’s always up to us Slytherins to help you lot anyway, by the looks of it, I’d be failing in my loyalty to my house if I didn’t.” Smiling he moved to stand next to the Hufflepuff and the fourth years opened the door allowing the others entrance. They were too busy counting those that went in through the portrait they didn’t notice the small figure slip out and run soundlessly down the corridor and around the corner towards the dungeon entrance.

* * *

Severus was the first person to see the small child in the middle of the battlefield. Frozen momentarily in horror he didn’t even feel as Lupin’s spell cut across his cheek. The girl looked no older than two and she was running unsteadily towards a figure in brown robes who lay slumped down a few feet away from him, he couldn’t hear her above the noise of the battle, but he could see the tears and fear on her face, and could read the shouts of ‘mummy’ on her lips.

   
And then he wasn’t the only one to see the child.

Goyle Sr. turned in the direction of the witch he had just fired down to see a tiny girl running towards her. The child posed no threat to him but the Dark Lord had said that anyone without a white mask was to be killed, and he wasn’t about to go against his Master’s orders. Grinning like the madman he was, he spun his wand in her direction and pointed it at the small chest.

Severus saw the movement of Goyle’s wand and before he had time to think clearly he ran towards the girl.  
“NO!”

Reaching her just in time he grabbed her into his arms pulling both of them to the ground. Breathing heavily he checked the girl over for any signs that he might have been too late, but the screams of fear she was releasing told him all he needed to know.

Raising himself back to his feet, the crying child tucked safely behind him, beneath his robes he suddenly realised that the battle ground had gone quite. Not silent for there were still duels occurring but those closest to him had stopped their fighting to look at him in shock. It would have been funny to think that just by saving a child he could stop a fierce battle, if it hadn’t been for the fear that gripped him.

Perhaps he’d been wrong, Slytherins could feel fear.

“Snape this girl had better be your child.” Avery’s voice broke through his terror and he realised that the time had come; he could finally fight for the side he had been on all along.

“Yes Avery, she is my child.” There were several gasps of surprise around him and he smiled maliciously behind the white mask, knowing full well that ‘Dumbledore’s Army’ could see it.  
“Every student in this school is my child Avery, and since this child appears to be attending for a little while I feel justified in calling her my own.” It was amazing really how even behind a full face mask, shock could still be seen.

“Are you crazy Snape?” It wasn’t a question. “When Our Lord finds out about this he’s going to kill you. What kind of sick game are you playing?”

“‘Our Lord’ isn’t going to find out about this, ‘Your Lord’ might, but he was never My Lord, and as for a game, I’m not playing any, and that is where the problem lies. This is no game, this is reality, these are real lives, real people not chess pieces that can be crushed without concern. Do you know how many years I’ve watched you torture and murder the innocent just because you feel like it? Do you know who many times I’ve watched each one of you go under the Cruciatus simply because He feels like it, how many times I’ve been under it? Well I do and it has been far too many times for each of them. Is that really the world you want to live in, one where you still fear for your life, is that the life you want for your children, He won’t share the power he promises to have, haven’t you seen that yet? He wants to rule, but he wants to do it alone, you’ll be no more than servants to him and he’ll replace you the first chance he gets. You have one last chance to stop that. To save your own lives and the lives of your children. He won’t win here today, and you’ll all go down with him.” There was no sound when he finished, and for once he wasn’t grateful for the oppressive silence. And then he heard clapping and his blood ran cold.

“Very impressive Severus, I see some of your family’s blood does indeed run through you, you would have made a good Politician, just like your Great Grandfather, but you made one mistake. You forgot that no one can leave me.” He felt more than saw Arthur’s presence behind him and before the circle of wizards and witches that had formed around him had separated completely to allow access to the Dark Lord, he pulled the girl out from behind his robes and pushed her into his waiting arms.

Relieved that her life no longer depended on him, Severus allowed his anger to surface over his fear.

“I didn’t have to leave you, I never joined you.” That definitely shocked some people.

“This was my father’s choice for me, not mine. He pushed me to become what he was, but in his wish to please you, he forgot that you can’t force a Snape to become anything against their will. I disowned them the night I was branded and I disowned you the first time I saw him come back from one of your meetings, praising you while he bled from the wounds you had inflicted. You see, I left you before I ever joined you. I was never loyal to you. Why do you think all your raids were discovered so quickly by Aurors, why do you think I continuously failed to kill the Headmaster and Potter? I’m a Potions Master, that feat would have taken little effort to achieve, and yet I failed. I failed every time you asked it of me and I faced every punishment you gave me because I knew that it didn’t matter what you did to me, I wouldn’t beg your forgiveness, I didn’t need it, I wouldn’t ask for mercy, I knew you had none to give and I wouldn’t give myself over to you fully because I don’t belong to you. You were never anything to me but the monster you are. That night you asked for my loyalty, and that night I pledged it to another. I was and will always be loyal to Albus Dumbledore, not you, never you.” His eyes were hard as he changed the spell on him to reveal himself to Voldemort. He smirked coldly as realisation dawned on Voldemort’s face and reached up to rip the mask from his face, throwing it up in the air it burst into flames without a spell being spoken or a wand being raised.

Voldemort stared blindly at the spot where the mask had been and Severus smiled as he felt a hand grab his left arm. The small burn that ran through the Mark on that arm told him that the hand belonged to Potter.

Looking down at the boy he was relieved with what he saw there. He knew Potter didn’t want to kill, but he also knew that the boy would do what ever it took to keep his friends safe, and the look of pure hatred and determination he saw on the young face told him that the boy was prepared to kill for the one’s he loved and Severus vowed to help him when it came the time that Harry would have to face that he had killed a man. But then there wasn’t much of Voldemort that anyone could call human, so perhaps Harry wouldn’t need that much help after all.

“I can see that your alliance isn’t the only thing you’ve been hiding from me.” Voldemort’s eyes were stabbing into him, but he refused to flinch, to look away, and he met the red with endless black. “You could be very powerful one day you know. I would let you reach the potential you have. Come back to me and I will forget all of this, and once this battle is over we will remove the muggles together.”

“I can see that you’ve become deaf in your old age Tom,” He smirked further at the anger that caused. “I already told you that I was never on your side, I cannot go back to where I never was, please try to listen this time, I loath repeating myself to creatures not worth the time.” His tone casual, impatience seeping in and he knew when it had its intended affect; losing his smooth voice to hissing always showed a loss of control on Voldemort’s part.

As long as Voldemort thought he was in control, as long as he kept himself collected, he would have the ability to win, but if he lost that control, if his rage got the better of him then it wouldn’t take Harry much to remove the beast from their lives forever.

“Sssseverussss I will kill you.” And then he began to hiss.

Severus felt a sharp tug on his sleeve and looked to Harry, his face was white and he practically whispered the words in his fear.

“He’s calling his snake, he’s calling Nagina.”

“I know.” Severus smiled at the shock that overtook the fear on the-boy-who-lived’s face. “You’re not the only Parselmouth around here you know.” He winked at the boy for good measure then continued. “And Nagina has been a large source of the information I bring... brought,” he corrected himself. “to the Order.

The smirk was back and this time it was reflected on the face beside him.

“We don’t really know anything about you do we sir?”

“Not now, but I don’t hold out the hope that that will last for long after tonight.”

They said no more as Nagina chose that moment to slither into the circle. The Death Eaters that had formed the semi-circle behind their Master jumped away in fright as she slid close to them, but upon seeing neither Harry nor Severus move away, it was only the Death Eaters that stepped aside.

“Not afraid of ssssnakessss then Ssseverussss?”

“Not when some of my best friends were serpents.” Severus at least would hold onto his control. He could see the Order members slowly shifting around the circle, slipping behind the Death Eaters, if he could just distract Voldemort a little longer they would all be in place, it wouldn’t be like before though, this time the Death Eaters would aim for death.

“Well then let me introducssss my friend.”

“We’ve already met thank you, she’s a very good conversationalist if you spend the time with her, favours the basement to the upper floors though.” The subtle hints weren’t lost on anyone there, including Voldemort.

“Well, well sssomething elsssse you failed to tell me, but I don’t think that a mere conversssation will stop her from killing you Ssseverusss.” His eyes were feverish with madness.

“She won’t kill me, I was the one who healed her when you took your anger out on her, I saved her life when you left her to die. She owes me a life debt.” He stopped talking to Voldemort and turned his attention to the large snake.

“Nagina.”

“Professsssor”

“I need your help, I know that Voldemort is your Master but he is going to request you kill me, but that won’t be the case, will it Nagina?”

“I cannot kill you ssssir, you ssssaved me when my Masssster wanted me dead.” He could see Harry following the conversation closely, he wasn’t the only one.

“Listen to me you worthlesssss sssserpent, I am your Massssster, you will obey me! Kill Ssssnape now!”  
“I can not do that Masssster. I am bound against harming him.”

“Then I will kill you and then him myssself.”

“As you wissssssh Masssster.” She turned to look Severus in the eyes and he conveyed to her the gratitude and sadness he felt at her sacrifice. “I sssaid I would find a way to repay you for the kindnesssss you sssshowed me, I hope thissssss will ssssuffice.”

“It is far more than I would have ever asked Nagina, and I wish there were some other way.”

“ENOUGH! Avada Kedarva!”

* * *

While Severus and Voldemort had fought over the snake the Order members completed their task and were now surrounding the Death Eaters. Preparing to attack them as soon as any signal was given, they had not expected the killing curse to be released on the snake, and in their shock the Death Eaters were able to gain time to defend themselves, the battle began again as if the break in fighting hadn’t occurred, but this time the duels were harder, the spells stronger and the wizards and witches wearier.

   
Severus fought the Death Eaters coming towards him, jumping over hexes, dodging curses and firing back with spells of his own. All around him he watched as the Death Eaters pushed, student and teacher alike onto the defence, firing spell after spell until they were able to do nothing more than hold a constant shield around themselves.

Attacking with a renewed vigour Severus almost didn’t see the Headmaster fall.

Almost.

Fingers of ice closed around his heart as he watched Minerva fight hopelessly to get to his side, and he saw Draco Malfoy close in for the kill. With strength he didn’t know he had he conjured the strongest shield he knew and with all his power behind it he threw it at the Headmaster. He wouldn’t let them kill the people he loved.

* * *

Albus had too been busy fighting two of his former students and fathers of two of his more recent students; Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle that he didn’t see Draco come up behind him. When he did see him it was too late for him to defend himself and the spell sent him to the ground gasping for breath, his wand out of his hand. He saw Draco approach, but he didn’t have the strength in that moment to move for his wand.  
 

He couldn’t believe that this would be how he would die, he had been so sure that he would see the end of the battle, the end of the war, that he hadn’t planned for the possibility that he wouldn’t. Now as he lay collapsed on the ground of his school, he realised that even with how long his life had been, he hadn’t done nearly as much as he wanted to, hadn’t said everything he needed to. He found himself wishing for just a little more time, for a miracle that would allow him to do all the things he hadn’t and he didn’t believe his eyes when the world became covered in a silver glow.

He saw the green light coming towards him, braced himself for the impact. But it didn’t happen. He stared in wonder as the green beam hit the silver film around him and was absorbed into it, disappearing the instant it made contact. Catching himself, he reached for his wand and using Draco’s momentary shock, stunned the young Death Eater. He reached out to touch the silver film, wanting to determine what it was, he had never seen anything like it before, but as soon as his fingers touched it the film disappeared.

It took him a moment to realise that his fingers were now glowing the same silver, and raising his other hand he found that too to be shining with the odd silver glow. Still seated on the ground he posed no threat to any of the Death Eaters around him and so he took the break in duelling to look around the battlefield.

Where moments before he had seen his friends being backed up against the castle walls, his students huddling beside each other offering the strength of their defence to each other, he saw silver figures raising their wands proud and determined, groups of silver witches and wizards stunning the black figures with an ease he had never known before. The Death Eaters were falling one by one, their attempts at attack and defence being absorbed effortlessly by the intended witch or wizard’s skin, the silver hue glowing brighter and then fading again with every spell it took in.

* * *

Sirius had watched Severus hissing at the giant snake, seeing his Godson clutching tightly to the man’s robes he had wanted to run over to them and pull them out of Voldemort’s way, but Harry’s face didn’t show fear, and Severus was smirking as he spoke, so he resigned himself to waiting, wishing that a snake had been his animagus form.  
 

Then the fighting had begun again, wizard on wizard, witch on witch, student on student but the night was starting to take its toll on the children, and the effort of looking out for their students as well as themselves was gradually wearing them down.

Fewer curses were fired, more shields were summoned, and the Death Eaters were showing no mercy. It was obvious that they aimed to kill them all, they would leave no survivors, but a simple Advra Kadavra was too nice, they wanted to cause pain, to torture, to kill slowly, and it was starting to look as if they were going to get their wish, that was until Draco took down Albus, and then the metaphorical tables were turned. His eyesight adjusted and suddenly he was seeing the world through silver lenses, the spell the nameless Death Eater shot at him disappeared into the silver and when he reached for it his skin absorbed the silver, but it still shone clear through him.

The Death Eater looked stunned, even behind the mask, and it took Sirius little to disable him and bind him to the ground, snapping the wizard’s wand for the satisfaction of knowing that the wizard was now helpless.  
Turning back into the battle he saw the masked figures stepping back as their spells disappeared in front of their eyes, and those they were fighting began to glow silver.

It took only moments for the teachers and Order members to realise the advantage they had over the Death Eaters and began, Sirius thought humorously, ‘rounding’ them up. When there were only a few Death Eaters left standing Sirius’s gaze moved to a circle of light to the side of the battle, it was here that he saw Harry and Voldemort locked in an intense duel.

Logically he knew that it was up to Harry and Harry alone to defeat the Dark Lord, but that logic didn’t stop the irrational part of him wanting to run over their, transform and plunge his teeth into the monsters neck, but something that caught his eye stopped any irrational thought. Harry was glowing silver as well.

At first Sirius thought that it must have been Harry that had caused the silver mist that had spread over them all, but a movement to the right of the duel made him change his mind.

Severus stood leaning heavily against the trunk of a large tree, his eyes didn’t move from Harry’s form, he didn’t blink, and even from where Sirius stood he could see him mouthing a spell, but what had changed his mind wasn’t the chanting, but the silver light that seemed to have erupted from within the Slytherin.

He wasn’t glowing like the rest of the teachers, but the silver was pulsing off him in waves, it didn’t seem to be related to the chanting for even though Severus’s mouth had stopped moving, the light didn’t vanish but continued to pulse.

Bathed in the silver light, Sirius didn’t think he had ever seen the man look as good as he did then, his nose didn’t look too big, his skin was clear and white, not the sallow colour it had once been. Had they been anywhere else Sirius would have been kissing his way down that powerful body, but they weren’t anywhere else, and Harry needed his full concentration.

Dragging his eyes away from Severus, he focused his attention on his Godson, and any sense of piece he had felt left him. Harry was on his knees, Voldemort leaning over him, speaking low in his ear. Harry’s body was shaking, but Sirius couldn’t tell if it was anger or exhaustion. Setting off at a sprint he made it only a few metres, when a weak spell hit Voldemort’s back.

The spell did nothing to harm him, but it did make him spin around to face the wizard responsible.  
Severus.

* * *

He could barely stand up now, the tree being the only thing keeping him on his feet; he had a whole new appreciation for them now. He stopped chanting the ancient spell when Harry fell at Voldemort’s feet. He couldn’t, wouldn’t let the bastard kill the boy, not while there was still life in his own body.  
 

He wasn’t arrogant enough to think he could take on the wizard himself, even if he had had the strength left, that role could only be taken by Harry, but he could give the boy a chance.

Drawing his wand he threw the first curse that came to mind and then outright denied to himself that at the age of 30 something, and aiming at one of the most powerful dark wizards ever to live, he had fired a jelly legs curse.

But what ever the curse it served its purpose because the moment Voldemort’s back was turned, Harry drew himself to his feet and in a voice that carried across the almost still battlefield he spoke the curse that would free them all.  
“Avada Kadavra.” At first nothing happened and they each felt their hope seep out of them, but then a green light began shooting out Voldemort’s body, his screams pierced the early morning air, and he was levitated 5 foot in the air.

The green light continued to burst out of him, and with every new ray, and every sharp scream Voldemort’s body was ripped apart. No one moved when the screaming stopped, nor when the green light faded, not even when all that was left of the wizard who had haunted their nightmares for too many years, fell lifelessly to the floor. But they did move when the silver left their bodies, and a pain filled groan filled the grounds.

Following the sound to its source Sirius expected to find Severus still leaning against the tree, but he couldn’t see him anywhere.

Panicking his eyes darted across the grounds until they returned to the tree, another groan reached his ears, weaker than the first, and his eyes dipped low and his heart stopped beating.

* * *

He waited out Voldemort’s intense gaze, he felt his presence in his mind, but he didn’t have the strength to fight against it, and so he dropped his walls, unveiled his thoughts and allowed himself to be violated, but it didn’t matter, it was a distraction and Voldemort would be dead soon enough, besides he wanted the satisfaction of Voldemort knowing just how much he had deceived and tricked him, wanted the wizard to know how much pleasure he was going to feel when he died.

   
The presence pulled painfully away, wrenching itself from his mind, and Severus watched numbly as the man he had played servant to, who he had been summoned to at the wizard’s whim burst into a green light.

Time seemed to spin, and he didn’t know how long it was until he saw the body hit the ground with a dull thump, his gaze shifted to Harry, to Albus where he stood looking at the corpse of his enemy, to Sirius who was also looking nowhere but at the slayed Lord and he knew at that moment that regardless of the Gryffindor’s feelings, he could never be satisfied with anyone else and he was finally able to classify what he had been feeling for him since that kiss so long ago; Love.

After seeing with his own eyes that they were alright, his body drained and he saw the ground rushing to meet him before the world turned to black.

“Severus!” He was at the fallen wizard’s side quicker than apparation would have allowed. “Oh my God Severus.” And that about summed up what he saw. Where only minutes ago, Severus’s skin had looked like milk, it was now as white as a corp...No he wouldn’t think of that comparison.

A long cut had spread across his cheek, and the blood from it had dried, leaving a trail down to his lips. Severus’s lips had always been pale and thin, but now they were almost transparent, tainted with an ominous blue hue. Sirius dropped abruptly to his knees and pulled the black-haired head into his lap, forgetting everyone else around them as he tried desperately to get a response.

“Sev? Come on Sev wake up. You have to wake up. Come on!” He was suddenly very angry with the situation. “Don’t you dare die now you git. Not now after everything. Wake up damn you Sev don’t do this to me.” He was only seconds away from grabbing hold of the thin shoulders and shaking Severus to life, when the shallow breathing turned into a pain-filled rasp.

“Don’t...Call...Me...Sev.” He tried to sneer, but it was too hard. Breathing in short gasps, he forced his eyes open, for a moment his vision swam, before settling on Sirius’s face.

Sirius watched barely believing when the black eyes came to rest on him, though glazed they hadn’t lost their intensity, somehow that made it better. Confusion and concern fell on the Slytherin’s face.

“Don’t...cry.” He brought a hand up to rest on Sirius’s cheek, his arm shaking violently with the effort it took, unable to hold it there any longer, he allowed it to drop. Sirius caught the falling hand in his own and pulled it back to his cheek, holding it tightly against him. Severus began ghosting the pad of his thumb across Sirius’s cheek, gently stroking away the tears it encountered.

“Oh God Sev, I was so scared. Promise me you won’t go. Please, I don’t know what I’d do.” He lent into the touch, absorbing the feel of the too cold palm against his skin, relishing in the comfort the gesture brought. Pride be damned he was going to beg to who ever he had to to keep this man alive.

“Can’t.” His voice was weaker now, and his breathing had become more laboured, the air bubbling in his chest.

“No Severus. You’ve got to hold on, for me. You can’t go now.”

With enormous effort, Severus turned his head to where Voldemort now lay forgotten.  
“Vold...?” His voice hitched cutting off his question, but Sirius knew regardless.

“He’s gone Sev. You and Harry, you did it, so you’ve gotta hang on you’re free now.” He clutched tighter at the paling man, more afraid of losing him than causing more pain.

“Can’t...Sorry...” It was becoming harder to breath now, everything was jumbling up in his mind, he couldn’t form sentences, too tired to stay awake much longer.

“No, no do it for me, you’ve come this far don’t give up now.”

“Sorry.” He heard the begging sobs above him as his vision became edged in black, he kept repeating his apology, but he couldn’t tell if the words ever made it to his lips.

He knew he should be cold by now, with his life slowly slipping away, but the arms wrapped around him almost painfully tight burnt into him, warming him from the outside in. As the black enclosed him his last conscious thought was of holding the owner of those arms and he finally fought to hold onto the air within his lungs, but he was so tired, and the black looked so attractive, but then so did the other Black, the one that was begging him to stay. _Him. _He couldn’t think anything further as the black surrounded him, and he fell into it fighting all the way.

“No, no, no, no, no...” Harry watched as his Godfather sobbed uncontrollably into his Potions Professor’s chest. He moved closer to the two wizards.

“Siri...” He froze when the man’s head rose. The despair he saw there brought tears to his own eyes and he forced himself forward. Encircling the older wizard within his arms, he held him while he cried, Snape’s body still held lovingly in his own arms.


	8. Chapter 8

Poppy paused in her approach. She’d been tending to the eldest Weasley son when Hermione Granger burst into the main infirmary. They’d been lucky, far more than lucky, she had only encountered flesh wounds and a few cases that required the reversal of particularly nasty curses, but were not life threatening when treated properly.

Since the first patient had staggered in, and she’d seen the silver film around his body, the questions hadn’t stopped, from both her, the students and the temporary nurses. Trying a few healing spells she’d soon found that while the mist blocked spells from harm it did not stop those meant to help.

The wounded had flooded in after that, and she was shocked to find each one of them with the same silver spell surrounding them. No spell she knew would remove it, but she heard constantly that what ever it was it had turned the battle around, and for that she was grateful, very grateful.

She hadn’t noticed at first that the silver had vanished until she caught the mutterings of another of her patients and looking down had found that her patient’s skin was once again just tanned.

Not seconds after the discovery the ward doors had flown open and a very dishevelled and panting Granger flew into the infirmary demanding that she go out onto the grounds, that the war was over, Voldemort defeated completely this time but that Professor Snape had collapsed and didn’t look good, not good at all, of course she could barely hear the last bit of information over the cheers and applause over Voldemort’s falling.

But she had heard and immediately ‘accio-ing’ a complete medical bag, she’d followed the young witch out of the castle. She hadn’t the time to look at the bound and defeated Death Eaters, nor take notice of the trees still burning from straying spells; her focus was solely on their destination as she followed blindly, determination and concern fuelling her swift walk.

And then she’d stopped.

How could she not have upon seeing a tearful Harry Potter with his arms around a sobbing Sirius Black, who in his arms held his all time enemy Severus Snape. ‘Doesn’t look good’ was the biggest understatement of her career. ‘Doesn’t look good’ would describe the bloodied gash across his cheek. ‘Doesn’t look good’ would describe the torn shoulder. ‘Doesn’t look good’ would most definitely not describe the waxy pallor, blue lips and broken body, especially when all put together to form the shadow of her colleague.

Somewhere in the back of her mind she decided that the students could use some lessons in basic medicine and identification of injuries.

Snarling from the crying wizard brought her attention back to the unlikely trio. Hermione had approached and was currently trying to ease her Professor from the Animagus’s iron grip. Taking a deep breath, and praying to whoever would listen that she wasn’t too late to enact her expertise, she closed the distance between them.  
“You have to let him go Sirius.” But the snarling continued, only broken by the quiet sobs of “no”.

“You’re not doing him any good Siri. There’s nothing you can do.” Eventually it was Remus who succeeded in separating the two men; Sirius fell limp in his arms and just cried into the ripped folds of his robes.  
“He...I...He said he was sorry...I wanted to...love him, but I didn’t have time and he said he was sorry...he couldn’t hold on...why couldn’t we have more time?...How could this happen now?...It was all over...He was free, but he couldn’t hold on...He said he was sorry Remus...his eyes...there was something there but he went before I could work out what. He can’t be gone. He can’t be gone...”

“You’re right.” The gentle statement interrupted Sirius’s grief induced ramblings. He and the others still surrounding Severus’s body turned to look at the medi-witch. She was kneeling, bent over his body, her wand in one hand while the other held one of Severus’s eyes open. Albus sat beside her, chanting softly, his spell showing a faint aura around the Potions Master. It looked to those present as if it were trying to pull away, but as soon as it moved it was tugged forcibly back again.

“What’s that?” Harry indicated the aura with a wave of his hand. Poppy didn’t lift her eyes as she answered.

“That’s Professor Snape’s aura, it’s faint but its still there. It’s his life force Mr Potter.”

Before Harry could ask anymore he was beaten to it by his Godfather.

“So, he isn’t...I mean he’s still...” he took a deep breath before starting again. “He hasn’t gone?”

Poppy’s smile was small, but it was there and Sirius knew the answer instantly.

“No, he hasn’t gone. By all intents and purposes he should be, he pushed himself, physically and magically beyond his limits, well beyond his limits, but he’s still with us, just. He always was one to do the opposite of everyone’s expectations of him. Stubborn man that he is.” It was said almost affectionately.

Severus’s visible life once again began to pull away, and Sirius’s breath hitched, but it was tugged once more back into place, although not as forcibly.

“Albus he is getting weaker. While he may be stubbornly holding onto life, that alone won’t be enough for long. I really need to get him to the infirmary, he needs warmth and more than a few of the potions I have there. We can’t risk moving him by hand; it’d be too much of a shock to his system. There’s no more threat now, can you lower the anti-apparation wards so I can get him there as soon as possible?” Albus only nodded mutely, before bringing himself up onto his feet again and wrinkled his nose in concentration, an instant later both the medi-witch and Severus disappeared with a pop. The air was still for a moment, no one knowing what to say, or how to feel. Gradually a smile spread across Sirius’s wet face.

“He held on for me.” And he too disappeared leaving the whispered words to echo across the quiet grounds, which had seen far more that night than in all the years of schooling that had taken place there.

* * *

_He was cold in his arms, still, lifeless. The tremors had ended minutes ago, the moans of pain just after. There was no sound but that of his own breathing, no tell-tale rattling that had bespoken of the damage the other had sustained. His heart had frozen, and though the rest of his body had begun to follow suit, he didn’t notice. He gripped tightly the body, holding the silent heart to his own. _

   
“_Sorry” A mere whisper in the trees._

“_Can’t...Sorry” The lips didn’t move._

“_Sorry” A silent scream as he slumped across the body of his love._

“_Can’t...Sorry” Nothing more as neither heart beat against the other._

He hadn’t move far in four days. After Poppy had ensured that Severus was as stable and comfortable as they could make him, she had told him in no uncertain terms that his presence was neither required nor desired and that he should be off enjoying one of the hundreds of parties across the country, or at the very least the celebration the Great Hall was hosting, and leave her to care for her patients in peace.

He’d been in the processes of constructing a firm if polite dismissal of her thoughts, when Albus had shown up again and lead him away to his office before he’d realised what was happening. He’d stayed with the old man until the Headmaster had begun drifting asleep in his chair, and Sirius had taken his leave, being firmly reminded that he was to go to his own bed not the infirmary.

Grudgingly he had agreed, but first he had gone to the Gryffindor common room, needing to once again remind himself that Harry was alive and in a very good state. The minute the portrait had opened and his presence had been announced, Harry had thrown himself at his Godfather, and Sirius found himself forcing back tears as he held the boy, no man, closely, rocking slightly for his own comfort as much as Harry’s.

He’d sat with the students longer until they too began falling asleep, slumped against walls and in congratulatory embraces. Heading for his bed it wasn’t until he was half way down the dungeon steps that he realised where he was going. Ignoring the mixture of pain and relief he felt at his destination, he’d detoured to the Slytherin Common room knowing there would be many in that house who required comforting, and though his heart and mind were trying desperately to switch themselves off, he owed it to Severus to help them.

Thankfully there had been little tears to wipe away and the older students had already taken to comforting those below them. His chest still filled with pride when he remembered the cheer that had erupted when he told them that Severus was still alive and would no doubt be back to terrorize them in no time.

He hadn’t told them what had happened in those first minutes after the battle; it still hurt too much and was too fresh to relive until he saw those black eyes looking open and alive again. By the time he had entered Severus’s chambers it was almost noon, and though the school would not be functioning until the next day, Sirius held little hope for sleep. But sleep had come; the battle and his emotions had taken a heavy strain on his body.

After waking from the nightmare and sprinting to the infirmary, not even pausing to take his canine form, Poppy had agreed that perhaps it was best if he stayed by Severus’s side, if the other option was him waking the other patients every time he needed to reassure himself.

So he had stayed. Sitting by Severus’s side by day, ignoring anyone but Remus, Harry, Albus and Poppy, and sleeping curled up as a dog at the bottom of Severus’s bed by night.

By the fourth day, with no noticeable change in Severus’s condition, the cold that had settled in his stomach after the first night began to fill him, reminding him mercilessly of the nightmare.

He ate when told and cast cleaning charms upon himself when required, but he didn’t leave the small private room Poppy had placed Severus in. He knew it was wrong, he knew that most couldn’t understand why he would sit endlessly at the bedside of his enemy, but they didn’t understand.

He had to see Severus.

He had to be sure himself that the wizard would be okay when he awoke, and he would awake. But more than that he needed to be in the presence of he man who had been summoned from him for two days and then almost taken away by the same monster, but this time for eternity.

He still couldn’t understand where the sudden feelings of love had come from. But he knew they were there. He’d thought long and hard, he’d had the time for it after all, and he still couldn’t come up with any explanation other than that those emotions had always been there between them, but hidden so well beneath anger, hatred and school boy grudges that could have easily been extinguished, but for the mutual need to keep that one link between them. One thing that connected them to each other, no matter the distance, be it time or land, that had kept them apart.

A soft moan bought him from his musings to full alertness and he spun his head around so fast his vision swam momentarily. When he could focus again it was to see long black eyelashes bat against white cheeks, the contrast was not lost on him, but Sirius’s mind was too busy willing his heart from breaking through his ribcage.

The eyelashes batted a few more times and Sirius lent forward still holding tightly to the long-fingered hand clasped in his own shaking digits. Then his eyes went still once more, before they opened completely to reveal to Sirius the black depths he had missed so much. As they swivelled down to their clasped hands and then followed his arm up until the gaze rested on his own blurring grey eyes, Sirius’s heart once again stopped beating.

There was so much in those eyes, they spoke so much more than the man ever would be able to say, and Sirius knew that no matter what was said from now on, what he saw in those eyes would mean so much more to him, for they were no longer shuttered or hooded, and all of Severus’s emotions were laid for Sirius to view, he had no doubt that this was intentional.

Neither broke the gaze for a while, both content to simply lose themselves in each other.  
Licking his chapped and parched lips, Severus opened his mouth, his voice hoarse from disuse, but steady and impassive as it always had been.

“What have I said about touching me with your dirty paws Sirius?” At the sound of his name from those lips, no longer blue and still, a flame sparked to life once again inside Sirius and he flung himself across the bed to bury his head in Severus’s shoulder.

Feeling the strong arms encircle him and hold him tightly, his tears grew less. Feeling the warmth of the embrace reminded him that it was all over, that now that Severus was awake it would be alright and he was finally able to celebrate the victory he had participated in, and thinking of no better way to celebrate, he pulled back from the warm body beneath him, only enough to bring Severus’s face into view, and then lowered himself once more, this time his destination being Severus’s face.

Their lips met with a passion neither had experienced before. Mouths opening in invitation and acceptance, tongues clashing and stroking, hands finding their way to loose hair, gripping themselves closer together. The kiss was one of reassurance for both of them, of comfort and what they had both now realised could only be called Love.

They didn’t want to pull away, even the need for breath didn’t separate them, but a loud clearing of someone’s throat and a soft chuckle which sounded suspiciously like the Headmaster’s had them apart, gasping for breath, their eyes wide and flushed only partly with embarrassment.

“Ahem, well I see you are both still at each other’s throats.”

Sirius turned away, his cheeks flushing darker, while Severus only scowled darkly at the old wizard, he was beginning to feel very tired again, but there was so much he needed to know.

“Now I know you must have questions Severus and I can assure you that I have many of my own.” His eyes twinkled madly. “But they can wait, you need rest and Poppy would have my head if I wore out her ‘favourite’ patient.” Severus snorted weakly. “I am just so very glad to have you back, my boy, you had us all worried there for a bit.” Seeing Severus’s brows beginning to furrow in confusion he hastily continued before leaving the room and its occupants. “But we’ll discuss all that when you wake up, I’m sure you could do with the rest and you more than deserve a little peace, I promise all will be explained tomorrow, but for now sleep, that goes for you too Sirius.”

There was silence for a while after Albus left, only the reassuring sound of Severus’s steady breaths and Sirius’s more erratic ones filling the room.

“Black get some sleep, you look like Hell.”

“Oh yeh cause you’re just the picture of good health yourself Snape.” Severus attempted a sneer but his exhausted muscles wouldn’t comply, resigning himself to simply staring, he was suddenly curious as to why, exactly, Sirius had just happened to be there when he woke up, a traitorous part of his mind thought that perhaps Sirius had been there since he’d arrived Merlin knew how long ago, but the rest of him couldn’t believe that anyone would do that, not for _Him_. Cursing himself for his curiosity he closed his eyes, not wanting to see Sirius’s mocking face when he asked.

“You haven’t been here all the time have you?” He waited for the bark of laughter and the swift denial, and he waited, but none came. Opening his eyes and turning to face the Gryffindor he waited a little more. Finally Sirius answered in a whisper so low that Severus barely heard him.

“Yes.”

“What a sentimental fool you truly are.”

Sirius’s head whipped up, but he found no malice in the pale face, only surprise and gratitude and once again the love that sent shivers through his heart.

“Sev...” He began, but he was interrupted impatiently.

“Oh come on you mangy mutt, if you’re going to stay you might as well be comfortable.” As he said this, Severus turned on his side and shifted carefully backwards, creating a space on the bed that Sirius eagerly settled into, instead of spooning up against him though, Sirius lay facing him, both looking into the other’s eyes, until Severus’s began to droop. The surprisingly strong arms encircled him again, and Sirius felt himself being pulled closer against Severus’s warm body. Wrapping his own arms around his love, he sighed contentedly and watched as he fell asleep, knowing that this time Severus was back and there wasn’t a snowball’s chance in Hell that he’d let him go again.

* * *

Severus woke slowly, unlike the last time; he could feel every bone, every muscle and every nerve in his body. And they all ached, but he was glad for that. It meant he was still alive. He allowed himself a moment of pure joy when he remembered the sight of Voldemort’s crumpled body. He had no doubt that this time there would be no rebirth, Potter was very thorough with his attack.

   
His body screamed with anticipation for a future with freedom. If he was truthful to himself, and unless it concerned Sirius, he always was, he hadn’t expected to survive this war. He’d come too close the last time, and there had been more danger this time; as weakened as Voldemort had been before the battle, he was undeniably stronger than his first reign and he had been more suspicious and distrustful than ever before.

He supposed he was allowed to feel pride that he’d fooled the wizard for so many years, that his mental walls had withstood so many attacks without crumbling. But over the top of it all, was confusion.

He remembered all that had happened when his alliance had been revealed, he remembered the horror and fear he’d felt when Albus fell, he remembered casting the protection shield, he could still hear the repeated chants he’d spoken as Potter had fought with Voldemort, he remembered quite clearly the sight of his ‘Master’s’ dead body and hazily he remembered being held close in Sirius’s arms, being asked to stay but unable to comply with the request, with a wince he remembered apologising as the black pulled him under, but for all of that he didn’t remember being hit with any curse that would explain the exhaustion, and extreme discomfort he was in now.  
The curses that he had been unable to block or avoid had been only minor and few, there was nothing he could think of that would explain his condition and that worried him. It worried him more than he was willing to admit, simply because it didn’t make sense.

He was drawn from his thoughts as Sirius shifted in his arms. He stilled again and Severus assumed he’d fallen back to sleep, but then suddenly found Sirius once again clinging to him as though he were a life line. Confused and not a little worried Severus stroked comforting circles on his back.

“Sirius?”

“I thought it was a dream Sev, I thought I’d been dreaming and that you were still dead and I...” He broke off reigning in his fear and his voice turned hard with anger. “You almost died. How could you do that to me you selfish bastard? I thought you were dead, we all thought you were dead. What did you have to go and do that stupid spell for? You just about killed yourself with it. What the Hell were you thinking? How could you even consider leaving me like that?”

Stunned by the harshness of Sirius’s words and the raw pain he saw in the grey eyes, he could do little more than stare, his hand continuing to move across his back.

“Do you have any idea what it was like watching you fade, watching your eyes close and not being able to do a damn thing about it? To just sit there while the life bled out of you? And all you did was apologise, because you wouldn’t stay with me.” He stopped with a sob, and Severus pulled him closer, tears in his own eyes.  
“I did stay. It was so easy to give in, and I was so tired Sirius, I didn’t think I had a choice but to give in, but I couldn’t because you didn’t want me too.” He paused; he always found it difficult to share his emotions. “You wanted me to stay, and you told me too, you...begged me too and I knew I couldn’t leave because you wanted me to stay.” It had been in that moment that he knew he’d never be able to say no to anything Sirius asked of him that way. “I stayed because I wanted to. Not because Albus needed me to complete a task, not because Potter needed saving, yet again, but because you asked me to. And I am...apologetic that I couldn’t do anymore than hold on, because if I could have I would have fought harder but I just didn’t have the power.” Sirius had pulled back from him now, and was watching him with a look he could quite place, and what could only be described as a grin.

“What?” He asked suddenly wary.

“You know I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you say more than two words with no sarcasm or insult. Who are you and what have you done with Severus Snape?”

He glared at him before pulling his lips down to his own.

When they finally pulled apart, Sirius helped him to sit up; his back against the headboard, and then settled down beside him.

“Shut up you mangy mutt.” He stopped and turned a serious face towards Sirius. “So what happened? After Voldemort’s death I mean, what is it I can’t remember that explains why I feel like I’ve been trampled on by a Hippogriff?” For several minutes Sirius stared mutely back at him, something akin to a deer-caught-in-headlights on his face.

“That was one of the questions I wished to ask you.” He looked over in relief at the Headmaster’s entrance; he still couldn’t quite believe he was still alive, the sight of him on the ground, Draco’s wand pointed at him still sent shivers down his spine.

As if reading his mind, which he wasn’t completely convinced the old wizard wasn’t doing, Albus took the seat beside the bed closest him, and took hold of one hand. His hand was warm and though calloused, comfortingly soft.  
Moments later his own hand twisted and clasped the other, squeezing it tightly, he looked straight into Albus’s eyes and hoped to convey what he couldn’t say with words. The old wizard had gone from someone he had been raised and taught to hate, someone he’d felt betrayed by after the Shack incident, his...dare he think it, it was such a Gryffindor term but so very fitting;...his saviour when his parents had betrayed him far worse than anyone else ever had and he’d nowhere else to turn, he’d become his greatest ally and deepest friend during the first war and then protected him and fought for him like a father when it had all ended and over the years since he’d felt that bond grow between them, but no matter what it’d always come back to friendship, trust and love he had for the only true father figure he’d had.

He hoped he’d gotten most of that to the old man.

“My dear boy,” sighed moments later confirmed that if not all, the important feelings had gotten through.  
“What happened Albus?”

Another sigh, but this full of relief and a little lingering fear.

“How much do you remember Severus?”

“I remember everything up to and past Nagina’s...um...entrance,” a sudden thought struck him, “the little girl! What happened, I pushed her to Arthur before everything started again, why was she there in the first place Albus, wasn’t someone watching the children?”

“Well yes, Serena, is fine, a few bruises from being thrown to the floor, but otherwise unharmed, as for why she was here, you are quite correct in assuming that they were being watched, the fourth years were watching the children in your common room, that being one of the deepest parts of the castle, but it would seem that while others were entering, the dear child slipped out, either Slytherin or Gryffindor house for her I think. She is with her mother now, which I believe was the aim of her little journey and both her and the fourth years have had a severe dressing down by Mr Weasley, though I daresay you will scare them one better. Now where were we, oh yes Nagina’s death.”

“Wait a moment Albus, how many did we...how many people...” He cursed himself for being unable to finish the sentence, he’d been a Death Eater for Merlin’s sake, and this had been a war, casualties were to be expected, mortality rates where high, he’d almost found that out for himself, well that didn’t help, damned survivor’s guilt. Thankfully Albus was not in the mood to play his usual games and finished the sentence for him.  
“Died.” A smile broke out on his face, and he wondered if perhaps the old man had finally lost his crystals as they say.

“None.”

“What! How is that possible? I could see the green lights myself, how could everyone have survived that?”  
“It is quite true, and we will get to the ‘how’ later, please continue; Nagina’s death, the battle began again...”

More confused now than before, he continued.

“Yes, I saw the Order and staff moving around the Death Eaters and knew that if I could distract Voldemort and them long enough you’d all be in place, so I baited him until he gave an ultimatum, either she kills me or he would kill her, she owed me a life debt, so she couldn’t agree to the first, and you saw what he did to her. Well after that I continued to fight, only this time I was fighting the _right_ people, and then I saw you...fall, and I don’t know, something snapped and I just thought that I wouldn’t let Voldemort be the death of the people I...uh...am acquainted with” damn those twinkling eyes, “and I shot out the only shield I could think of that would be strong enough, or at least give you a better chance, it’s an old charm, I read about it the same time as I read the revealing one we were using before, there aren’t any words to say or hiss, you just have to think and wish magic into its form, I wasn’t entirely sure it would work, but I admit that I wasn’t thinking too rationally at that moment.

"After that I moved to where Potter was duelling with Voldemort, I continued casting some basic healing charms every time Voldemort struck, but, it was strange, all but the strongest of Voldemort’s curses seemed to be absorbed into him, and even those did little damage, but then I felt my magic start to strain and I had to stop the charms when he fell, obviously I wasn’t going to let Voldemort win, so I hit him with a hex, just strong enough to get his attention away from Potter and onto me. I think I’d be correct in assuming that it worked, because one minute Voldemort was staring straight at me and the next he was bursting apart in the air. I watched him fall back to the ground lifeless, and then my energy disappeared, taking with it the last of my magic and I passed out.

"I remember waking up once more with Black, and then I remember waking up in the infirmary. What I don’t understand is why my magic failed, and why I was that exhausted. Of course I’d had little sleep for days, and the battle was, tiring to say the least, but I don't remember being hit with anything that should have strained me like that. I didn’t even use any really power draining spells, so I...” He broke off as the twinkling grew worse, and turning to Sirius he caught the smile he was trying to keep off his face.

“What? What aren’t you saying?” They continued like that until finally they took mercy on him and Albus explained.

“Surface it to say the shield spell did work, and just like the revealing spell it worked a little too well.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well when you entered the grounds, you were lit up like a Christmas tree I believe was how someone described you, even though the spell was only supposed to remove anything blocking your face, in your case it lit you up so you could be seen.”

“Couldn’t be missed a mile off.” Sirius added.

“Yes quite, and your shielding spell worked in much the same way in fact. Instead of just surrounding me, it surrounded everyone except Voldemort and the Death Eaters, it melded into our skin, and when a spell was cast upon us, the shield absorbed it, even the Killing Curse couldn’t break through the protections.” He broke off and Sirius continued.

“When I first saw Harry, and he was glowing white like the rest of us, I thought he’d cast the spell, but then I saw you, and the light was sort of pulsing off you. It didn’t disappear until you _fainted_ against that tree.” He finished with a grin.

“I did not ‘faint’.” He growled back. “So Albus what your saying is that the spell I used on you spread out to cover everyone on our side. That certainly would explain the magic drain, but how is that possible? That type of power might be accessible to you, or Potter, but not me.” He’d heard all the rumours about his family, he’d even been told them first hand by his father, but he’d never quite believed them, until now.

“It would seem Severus, that there is some truth to the stories surrounding your family.”

“Better this one than the Vampire thing.”

“You’re not are you?”

“Sirius, did it feel like I had fangs?” He enjoyed the blush that followed.

“Ok, so you’re not a Vampire, got it.” There was a moment of silence and Albus rose to his feet.

“Well there will be a public ceremony for both you and Mr Potter, but I would just like to give you my...” he stopped and shook his head. “Thank you Severus.”

“No.” Albus stepped back in surprise. “I mean, you don’t need to apologise I couldn’t let you die, but what I meant was no there won’t be any ceremony, not for me anyway.”

“But Severus...”

“No Albus, you can tell the castle, you can tell the world if you must, but I won’t go through some political ceremony where I have to listen to Fudge spouting how much he knew I was on ‘his’ side and that it was ‘his’ idea. Let Potter take the credit, he did after all defeat Voldemort a second time, but I will not be made some public spectacle of, the last thing I will ever want is for some gossiping hag to go snooping around in my families past. No, celebrate Potter, celebrate the work of the other students, staff and the Order but I don’t particularly want acclaim.”

“Just as well you won’t be getting any then Snape.”

They didn’t need to look to the door to recognise the pompous tone.

“Fudge, what a pleasure as always, I must have forgotten my invitation for you to join us.” He sneered, his lips curling back slightly, a look of loathing in his eyes that, frankly, scared Sirius a bit. Even Voldemort hadn’t produced that much hatred.

“I apologise Cornelius, Severus has not long awoken.” Albus looked pointedly at Severus, but he ignored it.  
“Don’t apologise for me Headmaster.” Then changing his tone, Sirius was reminded of Malfoy. Suddenly going from hatred to polite, sociable conversation was one of the things the Slytherins had learnt to do well, apparently. “To what do we owe this unexpected pleasure Minister?”

“I have been rounding up the Death Eaters for Azkaban, now that we’ve caught them all in one place it is easier than we thought, though there is one missing from the battlefield Snape.” He said it with pride, believing the achievement to be his and his alone.

“Who is missing Fudge?” Sirius finally spoke up, but Severus knew the answer to that question and interrupted before Fudge could say.

“Is this really what you want to do Fudge?” He voice was low, calm, but dripping with poison. “I will warn you only once, think about what you are doing.”

“I know exactly what I am doing Snape. On behalf of the Ministry and on charges of consorting with and aiding a violent criminal organisation, I am arresting you Severus Theodire Snape.” Pulling out his wand and performing several elaborate waves of it, all of which were for show, Fudge bound Severus. Albus was on his feet instantly, Sirius not far behind, lunging for the Minister’s neck, but before either could say a thing, Severus broke off the bindings with ease, moving from the bed to stand in front of them.

Adopting his customary sneer and dark tones, the room was suddenly flooded with his magic, so thick it was almost visible. Despite appearances, Severus was in full control of his magic, and his eyes flashed dangerously as he spoke to the suddenly pale-faced wizard before him.

“I warned you Fudge. You will not send me anywhere for crimes of which you know I am not guilty. You have done that one too many times already. I will give you one more chance to take the Death Eaters away from the school, take credit for capturing them if you want, but never again confront me with the lies you are currently propagandering, or else I will be forced to acknowledge clause 3 of the Ministry laws.” The smirk on his face was genuine, as the Minister turned varying shades of grey and purple.

“You wouldn’t...You don’t want...”

“...to become Minister? Of course I don’t, but Azkaban is even less desirable. The choice is yours Fudge; just remember that once the news of what has happened here reaches the public, they won’t have forgotten your absolute denial of his rebirth. Who will they favour Fudge? A war hero or the wizard who refused to believe.”  
There was no sound, as Fudge opened and closed his mouth mutely. Suddenly he turned on his heel and swept from the room.  
“You’ll regret this Snape.” And then silence once more.

The magic left the room with a crack, whipping past them and back into the even paler wizard.

“I think you should sit down Severus.” Albus spoke quietly, soothingly and he led Severus back to the bed. Sirius again noticed the pride in the old wizard’s eyes, and knew it was reflected in his own.

“Sev that was incredible.” He cringed slightly at the childish tone, but it really had been amazing to watch, he’d never seen Fudge leave a room so fast.

“So glad I could entertain you Black.” His eyes were smiling again.

“But really, what did he mean about you becoming Minister? Can you really do that?”

“Yes I can, well it’d have to go to an election first obviously, but I can challenge him as the current Minister for his position. Clause 3 of the Ministry Laws states that the current Minister for Magic can only be challenged for the position of Minister for Magic by a direct descendant of a former Minister for Magic, and that would be me. It goes on to say more about how an unfair Minister can be challenged, but its a little known clause, one that was repeatedly beaten into me, and that it would seem Fudge is also wary of. So yes I could challenge him for his job, although I’m certain it would do no good, but it looks as though Fudge isn’t feeling too secure in his position, but I can assure you I have no intention of actually becoming Minister, or even standing, maybe Arthur should go for election, he couldn’t be any worse, and I’m sure he will be much better. What?” He exclaimed at the shocked and amused looks of his audience.

“I think that’s the first time I’ve heard you compliment anyone.”

“I don't compliment anyone Black; I was simply stating the facts as I see them.” He chose to ignore how their amusement grew.

“Ah, I see our patient had awoken, you should have come for me straight away Albus.” Poppy Pomfrey approached the bed and instantly began running her wand up and down Severus’s body.

“Ah, Poppy. As you can see I am perfectly fine, thank you for a marvellous job well done, if you could just tell the Headmaster that I am indeed ok to leave, I’ll go back to my dungeons and you can have this bed for those that really need it.”

“Don’t try that on with me Severus Snape, you will stay here until I say you can leave. You’ve spent the last week barely conscious, so you are going to stay here for at least another week so that I can ensure you are indeed as well as you say. And don’t try that glare with me Mr Snape, it didn’t work when you were a student and it won’t work now.” She finished primly, directing her own glare at his, and Sirius laughed from beside him.

“Shut up Black!” He snapped, though it sounded far too much like a whine to his ears, for his liking.


	9. Chapter 9

Stepping into his living room, two days later, Severus was amazed at just how grateful he was to be able to do that. Even more amazing was the constant presence beside him, it wasn’t so much that Sirius was there, as it was that it didn’t irritate him, in fact it was oddly comforting.

Remembering returning to his empty rooms, his mind went back, as it had been since it had finally sunk in that he’d survived the war, to the letter he’d written before leaving. He’d written so much in that, that although he wouldn’t take back any of it, he knew they would have to talk about it and he wasn’t good at admitting his feelings to himself, let alone to someone else.

“Home cold Home, eh Sev.”

“Shut up Black. Incendio” As the fireplace sprung to life, and heat instantly permeated the air, he moved further into his chambers and towards his bedroom, wanting to change from the heavy cloak he wore. He was grateful to Poppy for not forcing him into the customary hospital gown, but no number of cleaning spells could remove the dirt and blood the robe held.

Feeling like Lady Macbeth, he removed the robe and pointing his wand at it, it burst into flames;  
“Out out damn spot.” Chuckling with a rare moment of relief, he turned towards his bed and stopped short at the sight of the letter lying folded beside a rearranged pillow, the pillow had definitive arm shaped dents in the sides. Knowing that the last time he had slept there, there had been a body, not a pillow pulled against him, he realised that someone must have been back to sleep there after he left.

It didn’t take his mind any time to conclude that it had been Sirius, and he wasn’t sure if he liked the warmth that seemed to spread through him knowing Sirius had returned to his rooms whilst he was away.

Strong arms came around him from behind, hands resting on his stomach. Not so much a possessive gesture as for reassurance.

“You scared the hell out of me with that letter, you know.”

“Hm, yes that letter, I’m afraid we need to talk about that and...this.” He waved his arms in front of them both.

“Wow, I thought the terrifying Severus Snape wasn’t afraid of anything, he must be softening with age.”

“Don’t joke Black.” He was having a hard enough time with it as it was, he didn’t need the extra distraction of Sirius’s baiting.

The arms tensed and then relaxed, pulling him closer.

“No you’re right.”

“Not something I ever expected to hear from Sirius Black.” He couldn’t help it; Black had always been his weakness.

“If I can’t joke, neither can you Sev.” He chose to ignore the name again, besides he was starting to get used to it.

“No, I suppose I can’t.” He stepped out of the embrace and held out a hand for Sirius. “Come on, lets...” he swallowed hard, what he wouldn’t give for a stiff drink, “let’s talk.”  
Sirius allowed Severus to lead him to the bed. Sitting back against the headboard, he let out a sigh.

“Right, talk.”

He watched Severus silently as he read the letter.

“Merlin, I hate those spell quills.”

“Does that mean you didn’t mean all of it?” He started edging away, his mind didn’t understand why that thought hurt so much, he’d only just admitted to loving him after all.

A hand curled around his left forearm, stilling his movements.

“No. It doesn’t mean that.” The tone was firm, each word punctuated with a squeeze of his arm.  
“It means that...Merlin I don’t know what it means. But not that.” Severus closed his eyes tightly, taking a deep breath; this was harder than he thought it would be.

“What do you want from me Bl...Sirius? Because I don’t understand how one minute you’re cursing my existence and then you’re more than a little glad I’m alive.” Sirius had been having trouble coming up with an explanation for that as well, but he knew, he’d had time to think it through, and he knew now that he’d always been capable of feeling the way he felt now for the man beside him, he’d just never allowed himself.

Severus continued his voice steady, but no more than a whisper.

“I need to know what you want from this,” he waved his arms between them, “from us.” Black eyes opened to meet his, and Sirius was taken aback by the intensity of emotions there. He’d never seen Severus’s eyes so open before, even in the infirmary, he was enthralled and hardly dared to blink, lest the eyes shutter closed once again.

“I could say that it wouldn’t bother me, that I don’t care, but I’ve had enough lies to last me a life-time; a Slytherin sick of lies, I think I must be a walking contradiction.” He commented dryly.

They stayed just looking at each other, then for the first time he could remember, Severus looked away first.

While his words swam around his head he watched Severus carefully, the openness of his body and eyes shocked him, but as he sat silently, still processing what was wanted of him, he could see the walls coming up once again. Every passing moment another brick was cemented and placed carefully atop another. It was the hardening of unusually expressive eyes that finally snapped everything into focus.

“Don’t!” Severus jumped at the sudden shout, and shocked, stared at him.

“Don’t close off. Its just for the first time in all the years I’ve known you, I finally got to see beneath the armour and I suppose it sort of shocked me.”

“Yes most people have that reaction when they suddenly realise I’m human.”

“No, it’s not that, it’s that you’re allowing me to see it. To see you, I feel privileged.” He smiled mischievously and the tension slowly seeped from the room.

“Hmmm. You should be I don't let just any old mutt into my rooms.” The hand that was still attached to Sirius’s arm pulled him close, and Sirius found himself enclosed in the protective warmth of Severus’s arms, exactly where he wanted to be.

“Sev, I...um...I lo...” Two long fingers cut him off, and a low voice whispered in his ear.  
“I know, but don’t say it until there’s no hesitation, it’ll mean more.” The voice was soon replaced by a hot tongue.

He arched into the sensation, feeling his body respond instantly; it had been too long, and he wanted Severus so much.  
“Mmmm, Sev?” Severus’s mouth stopped sucking on the side of his neck.

“Yes?” His voice was low and more seductive than Sirius had imagined, and he had imagined.

“Are you sure you’re up to this?” His response came in the form of a growled spell. He shivered as the cold air of the room touched his naked skin.

“I’ll take that as a y...” He was cut of by the lips that reattached themselves to his body, moving slowly from his neck to his shoulder blade, Severus’s tongue licking every inch of skin it encountered.

“Shut up Black.” The words vibrated into his chest as the skilful mouth moved to surround his left nipple. Severus licked around him slowly, with patience he was determined to keep. The licking turned to sucking and Sirius gasped in pleasure as Severus bit down sharply, but with unexpected gentleness.

He repeated it with Sirius’s right nipple, before licking his way lower, all the time mapping the prone body beneath him, studying it like a beloved potion, learning all he could. He could hear Sirius’s frustration, and could feel it in the harness that pushed against his thigh, but adamant to make this last as long as possible, knowing his recovering muscles would pay for it later, he licked his way down a hip, passed the attention seeking muscle and began nibbling the soft skin of Sirius’s inner thigh.

Sirius groaned in a mixture of pleasure and impatience, sending blood straight to Severus’s own cock. Clenching his jaw against a moan of his own, he hurriedly moved to the second thigh and after receiving a groan again, he moved his mouth across Sirius’s groin, around the patch of wirery black hair and laid a gentle, teasing kiss to the base of the awaiting appendage.

“Now Sev!” A tense growl.

“Demanding aren’t we.” But he caved and barely whispering an ‘accio’ he proceeded to draw himself back up the bed, his clothes dissolving off his body as he went, when he reached Sirius’s head, a jar landed on the bed with a thump. Turning arousal glazed eyes on Severus, Sirius smiled predatorily when Severus turned onto his stomach; slightly shocked at the trust he was being given. Not wishing to make the other man wait and knowing that he himself couldn’t wait much longer, he repositioned himself and began with skilled actions, to pleasure his partner.

Moments later the jar fell to the floor empty, rolling to a stop by the closed door. The room echoed with the sounds of pleasure and fulfilment, as the two men united, only two names filling the room as they tumbled over the edge. The room fell still, the only sound coming from the two wizards as they slept wrapped around each other and the thick castle walls blocked the sounds from the celebrations still taking place.

* * *

As predicted, Severus did indeed pay for his night activities, but Sirius was more than happy to take his mind off the aches and pains in his body.

   
When they finally resurfaced from the dungeons, they were in time for lunch. The hall was already filled, with the end of year growing near, Dumbledore had invited the parents to take their children home if they so wished, but nearly all had declined stating that though there was no threat the children were safest there just in case.

Albus had watched in amazement upon attending the first meal since the attack. Instead of the students separating to their house tables, they had mixed and split more by year than house, with the first and fourth years taking a table, the second and third years taking another, and the fifth through to seventh sharing the remaining tables, while throughout the meals, the students would rise and move to a different table, briefly to engage another in conversation before returning to their own to eat.

There were no more glares of hatred shared between the student body, these children had pulled together to fight a common enemy and ad stayed together through it all. It was what Albus had hoped for every year, and though it was a shame that it had taken a battle to make it occur, it was just another thing that Voldemort had failed to break apart. Thinking of which, the Headmaster broke from his thoughts in time to see the doors open for the only absent wizards.

No one noticed their entrance, and so allowed Severus the time to observe what was occurring, flicking his eyes from table to table, seeing the mixture of badges on their robes, raising confused eyes to the staff table, Albus shrugged his admission that it wasn’t his doing.

Harry saw them first, followed expectedly by Ron and Hermione.

“Welcome back, Sir.” He approached the two men slowly, a grin spreading across his face.

“Indeed, Mr Potter.” He raised an eyebrow elegantly and a sneer threatened to appear. He jumped as a strong arm wrapped itself around his waist, turning in shock and not a little angry at the perceived humiliation of being seen by every student with Sirius wrapped around him, he was met with a smirk.

“Lighten up will you Sev, Voldemorts gone thanks to you and Harry, we’re all free, and after all these are all _your_ children.” He spoke loudly enough in the know silent hall that even the Professors could hear him, and most of the hall smiled in unison with the animagus.

Severus merely rolled his eyes dramatically but as he moved towards his seat he found it hard to keep a smile from replacing his frown.

“I knew I’d pay for that.” And suddenly the smile won.

 

**_End._**


End file.
